My Many Names

The Best Feeling

2011-12-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

This Christmas season I have felt like I am welcoming a New Born into my home again. It is the cherished gift of woman, to bear her own children. I realize the blessing is has been for me that over the past decade and more, this has been the crowning joy of my life, welcoming new born babies, one by one, into my life, my family, my home. There is just nothing else like it.

While that season of my life has ended and Jess and I have ushered in a new season of raising growing children, I have cherished the feelings which have returned this Christmas while singing songs about the tiny little Newborn Baby Jesus. I have thought about his earthly parents and the opportunity and challenge that was theirs of teaching and rearing Him in the flesh.

Welcoming the Baby Jesus into my heart is akin to welcoming His atonement and testimony into my life. It is a gift, a welcoming, an openness, a joy, peace and blessing. At this season, as we celebrate and honor Him at the time of His mortal birth, we can celebrate also our own re-birth because of Him.

New Born Soul

As I hold

my new-born

smallest, sweetest

baby

Deepest joy

amazement

awe

cords of love

Gift from God

miracle

tenderness

beholding

Think on Thee

New-Born King

came the same

to Mary

May I ever hold

my new-born

soul

made new

Because of Thee

2011-11-19T07:08:00.001-07:00

Come, Mothers,

A plea...Who will stand between our young men and video games? To what end were they created? And by whom? How much money in a family budget is put toward this vast entertainment venue? And then, how much time, precious time, is spent toward it, and what, in its place, is lost?

We have already taken away from all our children the agrarian lifestyle. We have removed from them their being needed for our families to survive. We have taken away from them skills honed from caring for animals and property. We have taken away from them the benefits of a classical education and stuck them into a "conveyor belt" style learning environment. This, in turn, has taken them away much of the time from their families. And worse, we have taken away from them examples, in ourselves, of true lifelong learning.

I have two boys. One of them, I admit, struggles more with the notion of video games. He despises work for work's sake, reading for the sake of enjoyment and learning, and gets bored easily. My other son can play alone and keep himself busy with all kinds of projects, is willing to do his chores happily, and never asks me if he can play on the computer. Incidentally we don't own a Wii or any other playstation, but we do have a computer, his only way to play games. My son who struggles with always wanting to play computer games will read, work or go to great lengths if what he is doing is earning him computer play time. Bribery goes against my grain in all ways, so I find myself just saying "no." No whatever. No more.

My sister, while serving as Relief Society President in her ward, knew personally 3 young men who came home from the MTC because they could not stand the rigors of early rising and study there. They came home, more specifically, because they missed playing their games, and were bored.

Video games, I contest, ARE addictive. The effects on the minds of young men are somewhat visible in my generation, in a rising problem in fathers who become addicted to "gaming," along with the time consumed by many adults in social media such as Facebook.

But the true and far-reaching effects of video games is yet to be seen. Games for our children are more addictive with their levels, 3-d real look, subject matters and interactive abilities. My sons' friends don't like to come to my house to play because we "have nothing to do" here. They ask no less than 10 times in an hour to play on the computer. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. They leave and when I say no video games over there, they grunt and sigh and throw a fit. Or worse, my son goes against my wishes.

I talk to their friends' mothers. I explain that I prefer that my kids don't play video games. Some are supportive, others are not.

Mothers, if not us, then who? Who will stand between our sons and this plague of their minds, desires, and perspective? Someday, a sweet young lady is going to fall in love with my son. I can already feel her pain if he wants to game instead of be with her and his children. I can see so many consequences, spiraling down through the generations, if my son is not equipped to be a man.

Mothers, please. Stand with me. Do you have the courage to get rid of your games and take the ensuing battle and rage that will follow, and hold your ground? Do you think that I am eccentric? Do you not see the signs in your sons that I see in mine? Can you not look down the road and see that the first step down this road leads to the end of this road, and where that place is? Do you think it isn't that big of a deal?
Can you not see that even if they are not addicted, what is lost in the money and the time that could be spent elsewhere, and much greater things gained?

We are not a video game family. We have better things to do. This is what my sons will hear as often as they ask. I hope someday they will thank me.

Thanksgiving Season

2011-11-10T10:51:00.004-07:00

How Can I Keep from singing?

What a great question! There have been times when the question has been, rather, "How can I keep from screaming?" But as one favorite songwriter put it: "God made our voices, but we make them sing; God gave us voices so we must sing." When proper perspective prevails, and we put forth the effort of that which we CAN do, we finally "survey the wondrous cross", we grow in God's grace, we see His merits and receive his mercy... And behold, the rejoicing! How can I keep from singing, from making sing that voice that God made in me? Literally or figuratively, remember: "Jesus listening can hear the songs I cannot sing."

My new Thanksgiving Tradition is listening to, creating and enjoying beautiful hymns of Thanksgiving each day. I can count and name one by one many blessings, but ONE blessing is greatest of all, and it is real and personal and individual and useful in daily life, that of the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus the Christ. He is the fount of every blessing.

Come, thou Fount of Every Blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace.
Streams of mercy never ceasing
call for songs of loudest praise.

From one "forever undeserving of His grace," nevertheless a willing and grateful recipient, to you,
Happy and most Joyous Thanksgiving season!

Outside the Box -- Hazard Straps

2011-08-17T07:15:00.006-06:00

Note: the opinions expressed in the following essay are my personal opinions and shall not be construed to be a statement in any way of the Tyke Toter brand or business.

I am literally chomping at the bit to write this persuasive essay because it is so difficult to convince our particular safety-conscious society to get outside the box on anything that might have to do with safety and prevention. A shout out to all of us who care about safety and prevention so much, but what if, just WHAT IF we get so far into that box that it actually works against us?

When my husband created the original Tyke Toter over 5 years ago for our then 18-mo. old toddler, it was deliberately created without straps. As an over-protective and worry-prone mother, I was thrilled with this, because the presence of straps on a child bike seat has always been to me a major liability, not to mention an inconvenience and inhibitor. Following are many of my personal reasons for this.

Straps on a child bike seat do have their place only when a child is riding behind the bicycle driver, because the adult in this case cannot supervise the child and should the child try to stand up or crawl out during a ride, the adult wouldn't know until perhaps the balance of the bike was thrown off and the child had fallen. Even in this case, straps have been found to be a major safety hazard if not used correctly, causing an unsupervised child to fall down through and become strangled in the straps.

But ingeniously move the child bike seat in front of the bicycle driver within reach and supervision of the adult, and close-in, and not only is the balance of the bike better, but the only purpose for the straps becomes irrelevant. Imagine my surprise to find other front-mounted child bike seats that still had straps! Why would anyone do something so dangerous to their child?

Many points may be addressed. First, I address the title of "safety" we have attached with the straps. This has been at the very least a very clever marketing technique, and at most, a naive classification, and shame on us for being so gullible. As stated before, the only "safe" thing about straps as they pertain to a child bike seat is perhaps that they keep a child in place during a ride when they are in a position where they cannot be supervised a.k.a behind the driver. Beyond this, I ask you to reasonably consider: are straps in this case actually "safe?"

Point in case: Are adult or child bicycle riders strapped in/on to their bikes? Short answer- no. Why not? Several reasons. Considering the purpose, speed, terrain, levels of riding, typical accidents and injuries of standard bicycle riding, and all other relevant conditions, being strapped to a bicycle would be inconvenient, not to mention hazardous. This is a simple case to reason out. However, mentionable now is the addition in the past 2 decades to the sport of bicycle riding of the helmet. Considering again the above, the helmet, as opposed to straps, is a most wise choice for most bicycle riders, protecting them from the more serious and typical types of injuries inherent in bicycle accidents.

Long answer: Well, some adult riders, especially road-bike racers and hard-core mountain bikers, do, in essence attach themselves to their bicycle by purchasing special pedals and shoes which clip together. Clip-in shoes enable a rider to use not only the forward/downward thrust of the pedaling motion to increase speed, but add to that the upward/back motion as well. This is a personal choice for the rider and the benefits would have to outweigh the risks, thus it is best only for very professional riders. I have personally used clip-in shoes on the bad advice of a friend, when I did not fit in this category of riders, and it is only in those instances when I have been injured on my bicycle. Why? Because in the instance of an accident, I could not get away from the bicyle, and was pinned under and dragged, crushed and twisted. In the case of all other bicycle accidents I have been in or witnessed, it was the very fact that the rider could get away from the bike, or be thrown from the bike naturally from impact that injuries were actually prevented rather than sustained.

Next, consider the situation of having your child in a child bike seat which is in front of you, and he or she being strapped-in. What is the effect on YOU as the driver of having straps on your child? Do these straps create a false sense of security for you? Consider how many levels your own caution increases just to have your child on the bicycle with you. How does having the straps effect this increase of caution? Now, by removing only the straps from the scenario, what happens to your level of caution as the driver? Does it increase, decrease? So, ask yourself, what is the appropriate level of caution you should experience as the driver to have your child as a passenger on your bicycle? Is the appropriate level present more with or without the straps?

The answer to this question convinces me that the straps are much more of a liability because of the way they affect me, the driver, in my level of caution. Because as the driver of the bike, my actions and choices have the greatest sway on our actual safety during a ride. Does how I drive my bike change when my child is with me? Yes, for sure. And without straps, my senses are peaked, my caution is greatest, and my choices are reigned-in to the appropriate level.

Of course, nothing- not safe driving, not the greatest caution, and especially not straps can prevent accidents. The next greatest risk, therefore, in any bike accident is the unknown factor. This could be anything from other cylcists, an animal, an unseen bump in the road, any reason for an abrupt stop, or heaven forbid, a vehicle. Considering each of these examples separately, then applying the scenario of your child being strapped to the bike vs. being as yourself free from the bike, and the actual outcome of such incidents, are straps safer or more hazardous? This is not something any of us want to put to the test. I have personally witnessed one vehicle/bicycle accident. The child was thrown from the bicycle on impact. This was before the day of helmets, and the sustained injuries were various minor scrapes and bruises, a broken leg, and an injury to the head requiring several stitches. Had the rider been wearing a helmet, however, the head injury would have been prevented. The bicycle itself was crushed and twisted beneath the front of the car. The fact that the child was thrown from the bike on impact saved his life. I would not want my child crushed and twisted underneath a car.

Having a child strapped to a bicycle means that in an abrupt stop or on impact, they will not be thrown from the bike. Once the child is able to stand, sit, and hold on to his own handlebars, as is the case with the Tyke Toter, an abrupt stop, usually foreseen, creates the following reaction: The parent may hold on to the child, the child holds on to the handlebars, and the stop happens without incident. Considering your speed while carrying a child passenger, should any accident occur, would you rather have the child allowed the same chance to bail from the bike as yourself, or would you rather that the straps keep him or her attached to the bicycle? Is it actually safe to be strapped to a bicycle? After all, the bicycle is not a car. The speeds are usually well under 5 mph. Considering all points, the straps, just like clip-in pedals, may actually become a liability, inhibiting the child's safety rather than enhancing it.

Lastly, we should consider: how do straps in any child seat affect the child?.. coupled with another question: What is the purpose of a bicycle ride? A bicycle ride is often for transportation purposes, but it is also a source of fun and leisure. In any case, the ride itself is a free, open experience. Strapping a child in serves to make them feel inhibited, to feel restrained and to lose patience after a short time. Remove the straps, and the child suddenly can enjoy the ride as you do. They can move, they can stand or sit, just as you do while riding. In the case of the Tyke Toter, the child has his own handlebars and thus feels a sense of inclusion, even control, in the experience. The result is a happy and excited child for surprisingly long periods of time, and a very interactive and bonding experience for both parent and child. Remove the straps and the adult finds himself very cautious, conscientious, and extremely focused on the task at hand; never forgetting or becoming complacent that there is a child passenger. The result is a refreshingly interactive and fun experience for the adult as well.

I have a new and different "outside the box" title for straps on a front-mount child bike seat: Hazard Straps. Call them what you may, they are nevertheless hazardous to safety, to fun, and to the functionality of the very purpose of the child bike seat.

The one part of Charity

2011-08-11T15:36:00.003-06:00

When you truly love someone, the virtues of Charity, or God's Love, take toll on your actions and decisions. There is one part of Charity that I have felt pulling my heartstrings lately, as a mother.

Charity suffereth long. So there it is. The word "suffer" doesn't make this sound like a piece of cake. I think suffering long takes the most work, but creates the most joy. It is much like gardening, or the law of the harvest (there it is again!). There are weeds to pull, there is watering to do, seeds to plant and re-plant, suckers to remove, bugs to keep at bay, and the list goes on. It is hard work! But there is the harvest, in its time and season. And I know personally those who have come to their harvest and how great is their joy!

Some plants are lost for a season, there is trial and error. Sometimes the winds come and blow off flowers that would have born wonderful fruits. Sometimes neighbor kids come and break trees in half, and they have to be cared for and mended with great patience. Sometimes plants have a mind of their own and try to crawl to all the wrong places. (These are actual experiences from my garden this summer.) The key to suffering long is that because of Jesus Christ and his atonement, we never need give up. We may ask ourselves "What more could I have done for my garden?" We can do everything we can as mortals, but the one thing we must always have is hope. Faith, Hope and Charity really do go together, for without hope and faith there cannot be Charity. We never give up on those we love. We keep striving with them. We keep trying new ways to teach them, new ways of speaking and practicing all of Charity's virtues: kindness, seeking not our own, not being puffed up. We suffer long when we never lose hope and never give up. We can do the hard work, we can pull the weeds and do the watering. But we must never let the drought of discouragement set in.

Suffering long is possible because Jesus suffered for us. He has never given up on me all my days. When I wondered if it was too late for me, it wasn't. I can do that one simple thing for those I love. I can suffer long and never lose hope for them. The truth is there for them to hold on to in their time and in their way.

Gettin' our feet wet

2011-08-07T17:22:00.005-06:00

We've been getting our feet wet all summer long....

At Bridal Veil Falls
With our friends...

And at the Riverwoods...

With more friends...

We LOVE Summer!

What story are you telling yourself...

2011-08-03T13:00:00.005-06:00

I will be attending a mom's retreat this October. As part of our preparation as attendees for the retreat, we receive weekly writing assignments starting about now. I truly look forward to these assignments, for they are such an amazing opportunity for growth.

Feel free to take part in these and do your own writing, even if you won't be attending the retreat!

Here is the first one:

(This is the theme for the entire retreat:) I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth. . . therefore, first set in order thy house." (D&C 93:40,44) ... you are the house.

(Assignment:) Each of us is constantly narrating a story in our minds--it is the story of our own life. We are interpreting our actions and thoughts and even foreshadowing or predicting future events. How we narrate our own story is very powerful, but usually we don't even recognize the story we are creating in our heads, let alone stop to question whether it is accurate or not. This week, please ponder over the narration of your story.
What story are you telling yourself about your “house?” (Please remember that you are the "house.")

This past week, I've been paying more attention to the story I am narrating to myself about me. How I define "me" affects this narration a great deal. I have noticed a different narration take shape depending on which role takes the lead. Even the title I chose recently for this blog "my many names" shows that I recognize that "I" encompasses many roles. In my narrative, I see myself stretched in more directions than I would like, but each direction is indispensable. It is probably the most difficult thing I do in my life- prioritizing and balancing all the demands placed on me, and feeling pulled in so many directions all the time. Perhaps the title "my many names" ought to be a tool for helping me see myself as one entity with multiple names, rather than so many different entities; realizing that others recognize just as well that I am only one person and not superhuman in my abilities; that I cannot "run faster than I have strength."

As is suggested in the assignment, I don't usually recognize the story I am creating in my head. However, I am well aware of my feelings and emotions as it relates to my narrative. As I have paid more attention, I am realizing that because I am emotionally connected to my narration, it is a difficult thing to tell whether or not it is accurate. Perhaps the greatest gift I could receive is to see myself how God sees me, and receive from Him an accurate report so I could do better if needed, or feel better if deserved. For I am always trying to do better, yet not feeling so great about my efforts.

I do know which of all my roles bothers me the most, or for which the narrative is most painful; the one for which my narration is mostly questions, disappointment, guilt, sadness and regret. And it is the one that precludes the theme of this mom's retreat. It is that of mother. I find myself trying to be positive despite the stress and sadness of the negative things I see in my children's attitudes and actions. I wonder if I am expecting too much, after all they are just children? I wonder if these things are normal? I wonder if they knew how badly it hurt me to see them fight, disobey, not listen and act up, if they would stop? I think about God and the fact that even as a perfect parent, He nevertheless still has children who are contentious, even a third part that were lost.

Why is this? Why, when the role of mother is the one I have most wanted to play my entire life? It must be because all I have to judge myself by in this role is my children's behavior and attitudes, more especially their attitudes and behavior toward me. I see myself vicariously through their eyes, or how, by the way they treat me, I conclude they must see me. I have always believed in the law of the harvest and because the fruits I am reaping are, to name a few, disrespect, whining, unkind words, disobedience, back-talking, laziness, rudeness and un-appreciativeness, I constantly find myself berating myself and asking what have I done wrong?

When I step back, I think my kids are all basically happy, well-rounded, and even well-behaved for others, that they are provided a clean, organized, loving environment with proper boundaries and consistent discipline. I am the facilitator of much of the verbal teaching that goes on in our home. Obviously, I am also often the teacher by example. While much of what I 'do' all day is out of necessity; just barely keeping up with the basics of bathing, dressing, and feeding my children along with performing necessary temporal tasks i.e. laundry, helping with our family business, studying, exercising, serving others; I also do much that is deliberate in teaching and training them.

I take time each day to teach them the gospel above all else. We read scriptures, sing hymns, and I share experiences when appropriate, and my testimony with them. I listen to their questions and we have discussions. However, rather than the inquisitive, humble comments I would expect, I often get the rolling eyes, the pessimistic or silly attitudes, the facetious answers. Their attitudes speak so loudly that I am wasting my time, that I am preaching to the choir, that they are sick of the sermon. I can be feeling the Spirit so strongly and bearing out my heart, and they are concerned with the most temporal and unimportant things. I think "you are missing so much!" Certainly my children see that the way I live represents my values, and reflects the values taught in the holy scriptures? But then all day I have to intervene and stop fighting, mean speaking, name-calling and hitting and kicking, along with other unwanted behaviors such as messes, disobedience and other repeat offenses. I have to repeat and repeat to them what is expected, and remind of the jobs they have been asked to do. Although they know the expectation is to return and report, they get side-tracked and do all they can to get out of work.

Where have all my efforts gone? I pray this every day. I ask the Lord to inspire me to solve these issues. I know He is aware of my disappointments and sadness. I ask Him for that gift of seeing whether my efforts are acceptable before Him even though I do not get the results for which I pray and hope and work so hard. I constantly ask close friends for their tangible answers, their candidness and honesty about my parenting follies. They are as aghast as I at the things I tell them occur and that my kids say and do, and the way they treat me. This makes me feel all the more that I have somehow failed.

I know that my dialogue is, in short, one in which I am the victim. I am the hard-worked, over-stretched, well-intentioned, perfectionist mother, who, despite every effort whether by study or by faith and action, cannot achieve the results I desire in my children as their mother.

You see, just by writing it out, I can immediately see the problem with my even feeling this way. For a child to possibly feel emanating from his mother that because of him, she feels she has failed, is perhaps to predict more of the same behavior from him in the future. Certainly my children do good things, too. Perhaps I need to really focus, for my own benefit, on their goodness, so that I can see my amazing success-fulness!

I believe that what is insinuated in the question is correct; that "How we narrate our own story is very powerful." So I want my narration to change into one where I am empowered as mother. If it is true that "by your fruits ye shall know them," then by which fruits am I to judge myself as mother? Again the questions: am I trying to pick fruit before it is ripe on the vine? Am I trying to separate wheat from tares before the field is fully ripe? Will the true fruits come in many, many years while right now I should suffer these things? Am I making a pebble in my path into a stumbling block? Is there a ruler by which I should measure, about which I am unaware? Are my children's actions and choices my only measuring stick? Or because of agency, are these the worst measuring stick I could use?

There is a spark of hope that says maybe this is the reality, that I am being too hard on myself, that I can have confidence that I am doing my best and that the fruits will come of it someday. I just don't want to fail them. Knowing that "no success can compensate for failure in the home," knowing how painful it is to lose a child to sin or unbelief, I want so much to have peace in my home now, kindness as the rule, cleanliness as the mantra. I want to express my love to them rather than be cumbered with so much coaching and coaxing and pleading and reprimanding! I shouldn't loathe my duty as repeated reminder. I should just know that is what I should have to do, what is part of the job of raising God's children.

I welcome any dialogue on this subject.

Orem Colloquium a.k.a "book club"

2011-07-20T13:38:00.000-06:00

When we moved to Orem just over 4 years ago, I made a concerted effort to start a book discussion group.

I had been inspired to study the Harvard Classics by Bryant Hinckley's example in his son, Gordon's book "Standing for Something." Bryant kept the Harvard Classics in his home library and his son, Gordon, grew up on these books. If Gordon turned out that way from such a great in-home educational experience, maybe a similar effect could take place in me and my children.

After expressing my desires to my husband, for Christmas that year he got me my own collection of the Harvard Classics. I was excited to delve into them, but even more excited to find others with whom to discuss them.

So out went the book list, all excerpts from the Harvard Classics. And I think it was overwhelming. So there was no book discussion group. I began reading anyway and got through the first 8 books or so.

Recently, I decided to resurrect the idea of a colloquium and this time asked for suggestions of books, and posted the idea on WHEN, one of our local home schooling forums. And... BINGO!

We have had three meetings, it was an instant group of amazing women and friends, and great and fun discussions ensued.

If you would like to join us, you can send me an email and I'll send you the info. We meet one Thursday a month at my home.

For August's meeting, we will be discussing:

Treatise "On Friendship" by: Tullius Cicero (Edited by: Charles W. Eliot)

Poison Ivy: summer is here!

2011-06-23T17:26:00.001-06:00

Last summer, my husband was on a hike in beautiful Coyote Gulch in southern Utah. As he was filling up his water at a natural spring, he realized-- too late-- that he was standing in the middle of a poison ivy patch! His immune system over-reacted to the plant and he had a rash covering his legs, arms and shoulders for the next 6-8 weeks, until we realized that this wasn't a "poison," but rather an immune response, such as an allergy, and gave him the right remedy.

So up to 30% of people don't even react to poison ivy! In fact, my husband was with a group and no one else had a reaction, despite the fact that they all were standing amidst the poison ivy.

If we hadn't tried to get the "poison" out for several weeks before realizing it was an immune system issue, NOT a poison issue, perhaps his rash wouldn't have lasted so long. Dr. Christopher's makes a wonderful formula called Immu-calm, and this is great for any allergy, or situation where the immune system is over-reacting. Even having started it so late in the game, there was still a lot of improvement over the next few weeks until it finally disappeared.

I was biking with my boys just up our local canyon a couple days ago, and spotted, guess what?, a patch of poison ivy. It was a good opportunity to teach them about how to spot it. I snapped some photos of it:

It's a little hard to see, but surrounding the poison ivy plant are some other weeds that, at this time of the year anyway, have yellow flowers on them. I don't know what they are, I am going to take a closer look next time I go up there, because apparently Jewel Weed, which also has yellow flowers and often grows near poison ivy, is a natural antidote for the allergic reaction!

Pretty neat that mother nature provides a natural antidote for such a mean plant!

Summer Adventures

2011-06-23T16:50:00.000-06:00

This summer I felt inspired that I needed time to bond with my older children and also that we all needed to get outdoors and enjoy the weather while we can, and that we all needed to be active.

Thanks to my husband's invention, the Tyke Toter, we have been able to both work together as a family, and to enjoy many family bike rides. But I wanted to take it a step further and really inspire and push the older kids! The answer was that 3 days a week I go running with my daughter, and on the opposite days I take my boys biking.

My daughter is working up to a 3 mile jog. She is able to take her dog with us so he also gets enough exercise. We get to talk (between our huffing and puffing) and enjoy the beautiful sunshine, river, plants, butterflies and other animals. One day, we got to watch 2 men kayaking down the river!

My sons and I have had many adventures on our bike rides. We have made it from our house all the way up to Bridal Veil Falls, a 10-mile ride! They got to wade in the water for a while before returning home. We have seen several snakes on the trail, and we have been off-road on mountain trails.

We have really enjoyed these summer activities. How thankful I am for our health and the opportunity we have had to breathe and live and move together!

Sam I Am

2011-06-12T21:36:00.000-06:00

I have a friend who passed away this past Fall. One thing she said is that she wanted to be like Sam. I think most of us want to be like Nephi, and we feel we have to settle to be like Sam. Nephi had all the cool experiences. He had a huge sphere of influence among his own people and he does now through his written history, among people today. Sam humbly followed his brother, Nephi. He was out of the limelight. His sphere of influence was much smaller, perhaps only to his own children and siblings. I think most of us want to be and do something great, like Nephi. But when we look in the mirror, we see that we are simply a sister, a mother, a daughter, a friend to a few. We have willing and helping hands, we give what we can. We smile and remember to speak kindly to our children, we create a calm and happy atmosphere when we can. Actually, a lot of the time we are just trying to be the ideal we know we can be. We catch ourselves losing our tempers and we apologize. We humbly work and sweat beside our husbands and wake up several times in the night to take care of crying or needy little ones. We go to bed late and wake up early. And, we love what we do. When we hear our self talk begin saying we don't like it, we know we are tired or hungry or exhausted. So we say a prayer, breathe deeply and remember that we our blessed above women. What women in history have had it so good? I have always wanted to be like Nephi, but I am learning that like it or not, I am like Sam. Not the green eggs and ham Sam, but Nephi's older, humble, quiet, in-the-background, Sam.

Paying Attention, the best prevention.

2011-03-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

In our busy culture, we often fail to pay attention to our bodies. For a good couple of years, I had a sore spot on my left foot, right behind my big toe. It bothered me, but I didn't think anything of it.

In 2002, I was diagnosed with a Thyroid Tumor. Medical experts couldn't tell the nature of the tumor. I had my first experience then with natural medicine efforts. But knowing little, I ended up having surgery to remove my left thyroid gland. The biopsy finally showed that it had been benign.

It wasn't until much later that I learned a little about Reflexology, and noticed that the part of my foot that had been sore was related to my thyroid gland. And it hadn't been sore since I had removed the tumor and taken Armor Thyroid. Since then I have learned much more, and it reminds me, as I remind you-- to pay attention.

Had I realized that my sore foot was a message, I might have solved the thyroid issue before it was a tumor. Of course, one never knows for sure. The list could be endless of "signs" that the body might give. Headaches, a sign of the need to cleanse; vision problems, bowel issues, so-called ADD behavior, restless legs, etc... I don't know what each "sign" means, but I do know that if we pay attention and have some quiet time to ask ourselves what this pain or ache might be about, we can often find the answer out ourselves.

We know if we have too much on our plate, if a relationship with a family member or friend is out of balance, or if we haven't been consuming a proper diet. If we give it some thought and listen to these various "signs," even bouncing the idea off of good friends, we can probably figure out the cause and fix it, naturally, before it ever becomes a problem.

I never had signs of an irregular thyroid, even with the growth of the tumor. But my diet had not been proper for several years. I had not been chewing, thus digesting, my food properly. My portion sizes were out of whack! I had gained too much weight to boot. In hindsight, my body was giving me ample signs, but I didn't see them as such. Now I do, and I have had many experiences since then where I have realized that paying attention is the best prevention!

Emptiness and Fulness

2011-02-08T12:30:00.001-07:00

Life has its seasons. There are times of fulness-- being filled food and plenty, with joy, with friendships, with family, with blessings. A pregnant woman is full of life and one day, she delivers up that life and is again empty. We cycle through emptiness and fulness.

We do this with our daily bread. We eat and are filled, our body uses the food for nourishment, energy and strength, and then we are empty and must eat again to fill our empty bellies.

Sometimes our spirits are empty. We wake to find that we hunger. We wake to an emptiness we did not create nor expect. At first we are uncomfortable. We remorse whatever the loss. When we stop fighting and start seeing, we remember we cannot hunger if we have a full belly. Likewise, we cannot hunger spiritually if we are never empty inside. In times of emptiness, for whatever reasons, we have a great opportunity. We can choose with what we will fill ourselves.

"And I choose......"

Milestone

2011-01-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

We have officially hit one of the greatest milestones for me as a mother. One that will significantly change my life as it is affected on a daily basis. My youngest is officially potty-trained! Take a moment and celebrate with me!!!

YAY!!!

Lower What?

2011-01-19T14:25:00.001-07:00

Lower Bowel. Formula.

Dr. Christopher makes several original herbal formulas. And yes, there is one called "Lower Bowel Formula," and it happens to be one of my favorite formulas.

I mean, let's face it: What goes out (and how often) is just as relative to one's health as what comes in.

And most people have seasons where things (yes, even the lower bowel) aren't moving as they should.

The nice thing about this herbal formula is that it isn't "addictive," meaning that it doesn't condition your lower bowel to "need" it to work properly. In fact, Dr. Christopher's Lower Bowel Formula actually heals as it helps, making it so that your bowels work better on their own after using it for some time.

I have found it very helpful in particular during the times I am doing a colon cleanse. Sometimes the protocol I use can actually stop me up for the first little while, so I use the LB formula to keep things on pace.

Creativity

2011-01-12T14:17:00.001-07:00

Creativity, Entrepreneurship, Enterprise, Ideas, Substance, Beauty, Masterpiece, Function, Capacity...

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul..."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

(see video)

Each day brings ample opportunity for me to be creative. At the very least I must create and provide for my family at least three meals each day. I must create a schedule that works for the entire family, despite the diversity of its members. I must create an atmosphere in which my children will best thrive.

These are the creations of necessity, if you will. Something that adds to my overall health is being creative, not just out of necessity, but out of that deep yearning in my soul. This is perhaps why I have written poetry throughout my life. It is why I have composed several songs. It is why I have a singing group with whom I enjoy singing on a weekly basis. It is why I write often in a journal, and evident even in the way I have decorated and organized my home. I find outlet for my creativity in the spring and summer months when I can plan and cultivate a garden. It is such acts of creativity that bring much joy and fulfillment and add to my overall health. We at Sanara Medical encourage you to be creative and see how YOU can change the world!

Winter's Fire

2011-01-10T09:24:00.003-07:00

A friend asked me how I overcome the January blues...I admit, I don't really get January blues any more than the rest of winter-- I just hate winter, resent winter and, mostly the COLD, period. However, it affords me one small pleasure... I like it because I can relax and rest after the busy and stressful expectations of the other two winter holidays. I can do the only thing I LOVE to do in the winter time, which is hibernate. The thing that brings me joy is the fire... yes the wood burning stove in the basement has a glass front, and it stays burning almost 24/7 in the coldest part of winter. It affords the boys the opportunity to bring in the fuel and take part in keeping something alive. Leading up to winter, we all participate in the gathering of wood. We go on trips to find pinion and help unload the trailer and load the garage shelves.

The fire itself is beautiful and warm, comforting and bright. It is amazing to watch the flames dancing and twisting, some consistent, others almost ghostlike in the way they jump out and turn colors. It is amazing to consider how many lives have been sustained because of the miracle of fire. It has throughout the ages provided the heat for food and body, the light for life beyond sunset, and has been a cleansing agent on the earth.

If Fall reminds me of our first parents, Summer reminds me of My Heavenly Father, Spring of my Savior, and Winter of the Holy Ghost. The fire of the spirit is also beautiful and warm, comforting and bright. It is the sustaining of my daily walk, a warmth to my soul through the coldness of life, the Comforter in times of distress and need and a bright beacon, testifying of our Savior and our Heavenly Father and guiding my decisions.

So I grab some good books and the scriptures and gather my family around me, and all of us around the fire, and I read to them words that I hope will shape their attitudes and their futures, and help them discover each one's life's mission. I am humbled as I consider though how awful and bitter the cold, I am provided a warm home with those I love most around me. In this small way, I treasure this time of the year, and how it forces me to pull in and see the blessings that are immediately around me.

Miracle GARLIC

2011-01-04T13:10:00.002-07:00

Image Credit

A major key to garlic's health benefits is one of at least 33 sulfer compounds derived from raw garlic once it is crushed or finely chopped. This compound thus produced is called ALLICIN.

ALLICIN has antibiotic, antiviral and anti-fungal properties. These properties are most strong as soon as the garlic is crushed and begin to break down from that point. Cooking reduces the effects, and microwaving in particular totally destroys these properties. Refrigeration can slow down the breaking-down process.

If consumed raw and immediately upon being crushed, one clove of garlic per day may provide enough ALLICIN, and the rest of the desired health effects of garlic may be consumed in other forms such as garlic powder in capsules or garlic juice or oil. An equivalent of up to 16 cloves per day may need to be consumed by adults wishing to gain an antibiotic effect.

Purchasing garlic powder and making one's own capsules is the most economic and convenient way to consume garlic above and beyond consuming a fresh, crushed clove.

Some may be interested in the chemical makeup of garlic.

Privacy Policy

2011-01-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

We do not use the real names of our children on this blog.

If you link to this blog, or comment on this blog, please do not use our children's real names.

Thank you for helping us protect our children's identity.

Fresh Ginger Root Tea

2010-12-14T19:12:00.002-07:00

'Tis the season for a cup of warm, soothing, spicy fresh ginger root tea.

Raw ginger is easy to find in the produce section of most grocery stores. It looks like a little brown creature, with appendages going whichever way. It is very easy to use, especially for tea. I prefer to peel the entire root and cut it into 1/2-inch slices. I then freeze the slices I won't use right then for later and convenient use.

For each cup of water, one of these 1/2-inch slices will make a perfect cup of tea.

If I am pulling out some frozen slices to use in the tea, I drop them into the warming water for a minute, remove them, then slice them more thinly once this has softened them.

RECIPE

Decide how many cups of tea you would like to make, and use that much water.
For each cup of water, use one 1/2-inch slice of ginger
Cut each 1/2-inch slice into thinner slices.
Boil the fresh (or frozen) sliced ginger root in the water for 20 minutes, covered.
Let it cool, strain, add honey to taste, and ENJOY!

HEALTH BENEFITS OF GINGER ROOT
Relieves nausea especially due to motion or pregnancy, promotes the flow of bile, thus improving digestive problems, helps in circulation and arthritis by making platelets less sticky. It has anti-inflammatory properties, so a ginger essential oil may be used for massage to relieve arthritis, or a tea (concoction) may be used to help with migraine headaches. Ginger is often included in many herbal decongestants and minimizes the symptoms of respiratory conditions, colds and allergies.

Before and After

2010-12-02T15:50:00.001-07:00

Have you ever tried the inspiration of BEFORE and AFTER pictures?

I have regretted more than once that I didn't do it.

I wish I had the before/ after of the wallpaper/ new paint job in my house. The before/ after of the cranberry-colored wainscot/ whitewash wainscot. Of all my decorating and cleaning here since we moved in. The yard even! Oh how far we have come!

I wish I had the before and after of my weight loss. Of my body before babies and now.

I wish I had the before and after of a lot of accomplishments.

So...I have affectionately been called the "whirlwind."

Usually whirlwinds make a mess. But I'm the other way around. My kids should probably be the whirlwind, and I should be the HAZMAT or something.

But they make the messes and I whirl through and "poof," just like Mary Poppins, the job is done!

But how often do I get appreciated? No there won't be bells. I don't expect accolades. But NOTICING my progress made me feel pretty good.... you should try it sometime...

Ahhhh. And it happens like this every day, all over the house.

No Stress-- Pamper yourself! Hot Oil Hair Treatment

2010-12-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

Stress is one of the greatest enemies to our health. As a mother of five young children, I have come to appreciate the principle of a little self-care every day to keep my stress at bay. Sometimes I just stay in the shower longer than usual. Other days I give myself a nice pedicure. Sometimes it is reading an enjoyable book. But today it was an unexpected but welcome hot oil hair treatment!

My oldest daughter, age 10, has decided for the time being that she wants to be a cosmotologist when she "grows up." So lately, the library has seen us a lot for books upon books concerning hair do's, hair styles, hair cuts, and hair in general.

This morning, while flipping through one of her recent library rentals, a section on hot-oil hair conditioning struck me. My hair has been needing a wake-up, and I have been needing a little TLC to reduce my stress levels, so upon reading about what it takes for this simple treatment, I thought I could give THIS a try.

Any vegetable oil is great for hair, it said. Since I happen to have a 5-gallon bucket full of coconut oil in my basement, AND since coconut oil is my favorite oil, I decided to use it as my base. Having some wheat germ oil on hand, I also added a little into the mixture. The book also suggested essential oils. I added a drop of peppermint and lavender each, and tried an experiment to see how it worked...

Coconut Oil is nice because it melts at just above room temperature, and right on your skin as in the picture below. For the hot oil treatment, you just set a small amount of the oil(s) in a container placed in some hot water until it is warmed. My Experience: I used a little glass saucer and added a tsp. or so of the coconut oil, half that amount of wheat germ oil, and the essential oils. I filled a cup with hottest tap water and set the saucer in the top of that. When the oils were warm and blended, I applied them to my scalp first then worked them through my hair, then put on a plastic cap while I exercised. The heat from my head during that time (a suggested 20 minutes) would help the oils to soak into the hair better.

I ended up having the cap on for about 45 minutes while I exercised, then when I showered, I washed my hair really well.

The Result: My hair was very smooth and very shiny and so easy to manage! In fact, my natural waves were even and soft so that for the first time in years I didn't straighten my hair, but let it air dry, then scrunched it with a little gel and hairspray for a most beautiful result.

My sister saw me today and even commented on how nice my hair looked. She noticed tints that

she said looked so pretty. No color, no hassle,

just a little hot oil!

Rigley

2010-11-24T23:16:00.002-07:00

Life has been speeding by. School started, we got into our routine, and I haven't been here for so long... and of course SO much has happened. I have been writing like crazy, by hand, in journals and notebooks and binders. Just not here so much. But let me give you the highlights...

Most recently, Beth fell off the top bunk on Monday and broke her wrist-- a compression fracture...

She had been reaching for a small chain on her light fixture and although she reached it, she also landed on both arms and stomach on her bedroom floor. And the x-ray looks exactly like her big sister Elise's did when she fell into our Eagle Mountain window-well and broke her wrist at age 15 months.

So Beth has her pink sparkly cast on and is running around like it never happened. Thanks to my husband who came right home from work when I called him to take her in to the urgent care since I was not only tending my nieces and nephew and expecting 5 cub scouts to show up at my door within the hour, but I still needed to shop for our activity and didn't want to leave all the kids home alone with the newest member of our family...

Rigley "Riggs"...

So last week we prayed for the perfect dog. I know, I know, I was NEVER going to get another dog. But over the course of the summer I came to see that my kids needed this. And they deserved it, too. But it would have to be the PERFECT fit, or it just wouldn't work. Last Friday, Jess found him on KSL. When we both woke up in the morning admitting we had both been thinking about him all night after seeing his ad, we knew he must be the one. He is a 6-year-old house trained sweet Beagle. It is like he's been here with us all along. He is such a gem, even I love him. He sleeps in his own bed and is such a good boy! My kids are in heaven and they are taking on the responsibility of his caretakers better than I had hoped. What a miracle!

Of course there always has to be the "fly in the ointment..." For us it was that as we got home from picking up Rigley in Clearfield, after the long ride we let him into our backyard to "release his waters." He immediately sniffed out a "pile." I went to inspect this foreign unrecognizable pile. Just as I discovered it was a kitty-litter box, a bag of cat food, cat toys, a kitty blanket and a kitty food dish, Riggs began barking at a kitty sitting upon our fence, complete with bells.

Of all the wretched things someone could anonymously gift us, a kitty-- our family hates cats! And of all the nights! This was late Saturday night. So we kindly kept kitty in our shed and posted her on KSL until Monday morning when the local animal shelter came and picked her up.

I was just relieved to have her gone, and somewhere warmer than 12* F... I mean, really, who would leave US a kitty?

Influence

2010-11-24T23:04:00.001-07:00

The year 2010 has been the year that while I study and do things, I have constantly been thinking about influence.

Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are always an influence on those around us. What kind of influence am I on those around me, those closest to me? I have often wondered why I seem to not be able to influence in ways I would like. I plan to continue to learn about influence and find more answers. This year I have found much to think upon.

My children and I have studied "A Catechism on the Constitution." We made it all the way through. We have also been studying the many principles that America's founding fathers held dear to that so influenced the writing of the U.S. Constitution. We have had many discussions about current events and why their father and I feel the way we do, and vote the way we do. Our children watched us go through the process of attending local caucus meetings. Uncles and Aunts and Grandparents alike were influential in the lives of my children in this respect and many others.

I have studied the great History of the United States of America. I am still wading through an 800+ page history, taking time to stop and study other things that pertain to what I am learning there. I write often about what I am reading and studying and learning.

I also study the scriptures daily and write about my impressions. I write my life experiences as well. I have had a dear friend pass away this past month. I had the experience of seeing come to an end a three-year opportunity to serve the children in my church community. And I get to now work with a Bear Den in Cub Scouts. I have spent much time worshiping in the Holy Temples we are so blessed to have close by. I have seen many tender mercies of the Lord in my life and I have tried to write about as many as I can.

My children have studied and learned. They are learning Spanish and doing arithmetic and reading and spelling and grammar and science. They are active. They work hard to keep our home running smoothly by doing their daily chores and helping me with their younger siblings. They know they must be responsible and how much they are trusted and needed.

I also spent a considerable part of this past year studying and writing about the subject of honoring my husband. I was able last month to attend a mom's retreat with my sister and my good friend, Liz, that was so inspiring and influential in my life. I was grateful to be able to participate by singing at the event with my sister as well. I learned so much.

Much of what I learned has changed my perspective on so many things. One was how much my children needed and deserved the dog they have wanted for so long. This past weekend we found the perfect dog for our family. It is truly a miracle! It was only days after I mentioned to my husband that we needed to pray our dog here that we did and we found him! He is a 6-year-old Beagle. He is perfectly house trained. He is perfect with all children. He is fun- he plays ball and fetch and hunting. He is learning our house rules and learning to be more loyal and obedient to us than to his nose, which is hard for a hound dog like him. We spent yesterday getting him new tags and licensed and changing the information on his micro-chip. He even sleeps in his own bed. He is so sweet. I even like him, and I was NEVER going to get another dog. But God sent him to us, I know.

I mention all this because I hope in some way the choices I have made, the things my children have observed me spending my time on, have influenced them in positive ways. All this along with singing with my group RESONAIRE-- these are what make up me. And I hope I AM the influence my children need, despite my faults, weaknesses and shortcomings.

Sanara Naturals

2010-11-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

I am so excited that my siblings, parents and I are opening up a new on-line store for high-quality natural healing products called Sanara Naturals. We are adding new products daily and I hope you will look there for your holistic health care needs. There are products for the average consumer as well as professionals. There is also a related blog where I will be posting my experiences with some of the products we are offering. I recently posted there about a gall bladder cleanse I did a couple of years ago.

You haven't lived until...

2010-11-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

photo credit

When my brother Nathan, a Chiropractic Physician, first told me about when he did the Gallbladder cleanse, the only thing he would say was, "You haven't lived until you've flushed out your gallbladder." I knew I was in for an experience... of some kind!

This regiment utilizes a special kind of magnesium, aspartic magnesium to soften any possible gall stones prior to doing the actual cleanse itself. This is key to this particular protocol getting such great results. Other ingredients to this cleanse are apples, apple juice and Epsom salts, all fairly familiar items.

Nathan has made this protocol simple to find and follow.

My experience: I had not been experiencing any gallbladder symptoms. However, Nathan had done some muscle testing for an acne-like rash that had developed all around my mouth and the first thing I needed to do was a colon cleanse followed immediately by a gallbladder cleanse. After doing a colon cleanse, I took Nutriwest's aspartic magnesiumm for a couple of weeks. I used almost one full bottle. I mention that I had not had any gallbladder symptoms because for those who do have pains or stones, more time and another bottle may be required to fully soften the present stones. I also ate lots of apples during that time.

The Flush
On the designated day, I drank the apple juice mixed with Epsom salts. THIS, I decided, is why one hasn't lived until doing this cleanse! THIS is nasty. It was so bitter, and very unexpected since I had expected Epsom salts to be salty. No, no. The most bitter thing I have ever downed, but it was well worth it!

The Outcome
Well, out it came. And there in the porcelain bowl were marble-size gray balls floating-- yes-- gall stones. At least 20 or more! Along side them around the edges of the bowl were tinier darker balls-- liver stones come to find out! I have never been so amazed and surprised in my life!

Now I have lived!

Will you?

For more of my personal experiences with alternative and natural healing, click here.

Rest

2010-09-01T19:57:00.000-06:00

Resting

Let go the beckoning
duties
Let go the wailing
voices
Let go the aching
standing, waking, always going
Take a break
Rest.

Gone the bright
glaring
Gone the heavy
cares
Gone the buzzing
noise
Here the soft
moon-glow
Here the low
cricket-calls
Here the sweet
where-to-lay-your-head
Rest.

Tomatoes

2010-08-29T15:59:00.001-06:00

I don't particularly love tomatoes. But when they are from a home-grown garden I do enjoy them. I was excited to have become a member of a local CSA and to enjoy local, organic, heirloom varieties of tomatoes and other fruits and veggies. We are about 7-8 weeks out of 13 weeks total into having a weekly box of produce. The tomatoes have been coming strong now for over a month, but just in time for my own garden to start shooting red, vine-ripened tomatoes out as well. They have been tasty, but I am honestly ready to move on to another fruit. We have had tomato everything. Salsa, Spaghetti Sauce, Bruchetta, and chopped, diced or crushed tomatoes topping everything I possibly can. It would be do-able if anyone else in my family appreciated even a small bit a home-grown or any type of tomato. But alas, they are one of the most loathed fruit of my children. "What's this? Is it a tomato?" is often heard during every meal as they pick through the microscopic pieces of carefully hidden fruit in each dish. Some of the heirloom varieties from the farm have been green, orange, yellow and even brownish when fully ripe. Still, my kids always discover their true identity in every dish. I am thankful for the bounteous production of tomatoes, but I think now I'm wanting for some melons and berries rather than the tomato.

Domino Effect

2010-08-10T15:55:00.000-06:00

Since feeling inspired, and being encouraged by my husband, to start this ladies' ensemble (in the previous post), other experiences have come to fruition beyond just the singing group. I find this is one of the great blessings in life about following your heart and fulfilling each own's mission in life.

In searching out friends who might be interested in joining the group, I went to my facebook and began searching through my friends. In remembering one friend, I went to her page to see whether she lived close enough. In doing so, I found she had posted a link, www.anniesinmyheart.blogspot.com , about her sixth baby, which by visiting I then discovered she was suffering from some heart conditions. All this happened in the few weeks before her daughter passed away.

Now, I know my friend and her family had a TON of support and love; from family and their ward in Lehi, from hospital staff, from friends and just amazing compassionate people who found her blog and offered words of comfort, experience and encouragement. They certainly didn't benefit much from my added support. But it gave me a chance to be there for two people (both she and her husband were friends of mine in high school) who each influenced me for good by their examples in word, deed and character back in high school, and it was very humbling for me to watch them continue in that same faith and character still through such a trial. I was able to attend Annie's funeral yesterday and hear of their faith and experiences and I was so glad to be a small part of it.

Another thing that happened is that one of my friends who is singing with me called to pick my brain about piano lessons for her daughters. This conversation ended up inspiring me to begin 'real' piano lessons with my 3 oldest kids. We have lessons every week and they practice during the week and report back at the next lesson. They are more formal and I feel this will be a great benefit to them. The same conversation inspired my friend to start a childrens choir and she in turn asked me to help her with this endeavor. My children will get the added experience of the choir which I feel is in a direction they need to go at this time. I will be able to make some extra cash, and it will be so much fun.

These things were not in my plans, but they have inspired and influenced my life and its direction for good. What a blessing to have a husband who can counsel and to be able to listen to his counsel and be so blessed from following.

July Recap

2010-08-10T15:32:00.000-06:00

On 4th of July weekend, we met Jess' parents and some friends and co-workers at Tibble Fork Reservoir in American Fork canyon and Jeeped up the dirt road to some mines. Here we are at the "top" - as far as we could get that day, as the road became unpassable with snow.

Mid-month, on a Sunday afternoon, we went on a drive up Provo canyon and stopped to relax. The kids found a little critter to observe:

At the latter part of the month we went up to Tibble Fork again, this time with grandpa's raft so we could float around and go fishin'. No bites, though.

Summer Fever

2010-07-18T16:02:00.000-06:00

I have spent the last week nursing my two youngest through a virus which was accompanied by a fever. The older of the two is 3 1/2 years old and she LOVES Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. We drink this and other herbal teas often-- it is part of our family culture. She got the fever first, on Saturday night. She drank some RRL tea before retiring and slept soundly. All day Sunday she drank as much of the RRL tea as I would give her. She went to bed that night and when she awoke, her fever was very low grade (it had been 101-102*F) and then went away as the day progressed.

That evening, Monday night, my youngest got the fever. She would be turning 2 years old in 4 more days. Her fever was between 100-101*F all Tuesday and although she had been drinking RRL tea, mixed with apple juice along with her sister the past couple days, with the onset of the fever, she wouldn't drink as much. She woke up Wednesday still with the fever but it rose to 101-102*F. This day was the hardest because I could not get her to drink fluids. And I know that a moist fever is a blessing while a dry one is dangerous!

My sister supplied me with a new bottle of "Kid-e-well" (Dr. Christopher formula) which is a vegetable glycerin based mixture of Yarrow (great for fevers), Peppermint (also great for fevers), and echinacea (immune booster). I gave her dropperfuls every 15 minutes to start and then every hour or so after that. Meanwhile, my husband and I employed everything we could think of to make drinking creative and fun. We tried straws, special water bottles or flasks, different juices and teas and rice milk. We got a spray bottle and played games where we sprayed it in her and her siblings mouths. I got syringes and forced fluid in her mouth. I knew she had not gotten enough even with all these attempts. She was really being a pill! I did manage to bribe her to take sips here and there by stopping a movie and refusing to start it again until she would sip. Still, I made some catnip tea and gave her an herbal "injection" (i.e. enema). This, too, was no easy nor pleasant task with a squirmy, uncooperative almost-2-year-old! And the amount of fluid retained when she was pushing it out even as I tried to get it in was questionable!

It occurred to me that a sick 2-year-old is probably the hardest patient to nurse. She has an attitude and with the illness affecting her, she can become very contrary! A younger baby or infant would be easier to administer injections even if they wouldn't drink, while a child just a year and 1/2 older is old enough to realize she needs to drink it to get better.

I prayed that this little girl's heart would change and she would be willing to drink and that we would find ways to encourage her in this. Thursday brought more fever, with it reaching 103*F a couple times during the late afternoon. However, she did a little better drinking Wednesday during the night (when she was half asleep and too tired to be contrary) and all day Thursday as long as it was Rice Milk.

My husband suggested getting some dry crackers. I also thought of watermelon and cantaloupe which she loves. So early Friday morning, her 2nd birthday, when I found she was still running the high fever, I ran to the store to buy saltines and the fruit.

I found it interesting that frequently during the whole fever, she would ask for a bath. I would give her one while trying to keep her hydrated. But again, getting her to drink was so difficult! She would tell me she was ready to get out of the bath after only about 10 minutes whereas usually she loves to stay in and play for almost an hour! Twice I tried the modified cold sheet treatment with her-- once on Wednesday and once on Thursday, but neither time helped her fever to break.

It was Friday that she started complaining that her ear was hurting. She wouldn't touch the watermelon nor cantaloupe, but my other kids loved it. Surprisingly, because she didn't eat for a full five days except for the couple bites of the dry crackers, which did encourage her to take a more hearty drink than usual. And again, she was doing alright at drinking her rice milk. I continued to administer the Kid-e-well, and put garlic oil in and around her ear (along the ear canal) along with Mullein and Lobelia to help with the possible ear infection. But by Friday afternoon when her fever was still at 103* and she was bordering on lethargy, I began to really get frustrated. And frightened. This was a full 4 days of fever and I was worried!

Both my sister and a friend suggested a garlic injection. I just kept thinking of how well the attempted catnip injection had gone. However, my husband was now home for the weekend and could help me. Neither my sister nor my friend knew exactly how to make the garlic injection, but my friend had done this with her little one not too long ago. I did what she did with my own twist:

I put 5 cloves of garlic in about a cup of distilled water and blended it in my Blendtec so fine it was a garlic juice practically. I mixed about 1/2 cup of warm catnip tea with this garlic mixture to make about a cup of fluid. I let it cool to room temperature, then employed my husband's help.

We positioned my 2-year-old on her tummy over a towel and pillow so her rear was upward and her legs tucked under and he held her in place. I used wheat germ oil (vitamin e oil) as a lubricant and the first injection was slow and she fought it. She then pushed it out with some hard BM's and then I injected the remaining fluid rather easily.

Within about 30 seconds, we could smell garlic on her breath! Amazing! Although her fever was still around 102*F she suddenly perked up. She danced around the room, was smiling and wanting to "horsey ride" on my leg! Her eyes were still drooped and red, she looked horrible as before, but she was alive! She stopped complaining of hurting ears and legs and went to sleep. Saturday morning she woke up with a very low-grade fever. She was active and more herself all that day to where she could sortof enjoy opening her birthday gifts and she ate some food, mostly fruit. Still, the presence of even a low-grade fever made me feel that perhaps one more garlic injection would be a good thing.

So once more, that evening my husband helped me administer one more injection. This time I only got one bulb-ful in and she had a BM with some of it a few minutes later. We didn't bother doing the rest. She went to sleep and finally, today, she is fever-free. She has no ear infection, and she is playful and happy and looking almost like her old self, except that she went 5 days without food and it is taking her time to get back into that routine.

Resonaire

2010-07-07T16:19:00.000-06:00

Latin for "resound"... Jess encouraged me to start a singing group that was to my taste and liking. I made up invitations to anyone I could think of I've enjoyed singing with throughout the years who is in or near Utah County. But I know I missed some of you. Let me know if you'd like to be part of this semi-professional ladies' ensemble in Utah County.

We will meet at my place Sunday evenings beginning in August from 8:30-9:30 p.m.

I am so excited! I need to sing.

Let me clarify:

Singing to me is akin to breathing. There is *always* a song in my head and my heart. I have so much gratitude, so much love, so much that I just can't keep it inside. And talking doesn't do it. Even on those lucky days I get my 1000 words quota, and furthermore with another adult!!! it doesn't do anything like singing one song for someone does.

Teaching vocal lessons for many years was wonderful, even though I had given up doing shows because I chose to have children and be a home maker. And shows aren't even really my first love. I just like to sing. My favorite place to sing is in church or for similar gatherings; to inspire, to uplift, to touch hearts with a message in a way that no speech can. After 10 years I am still so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of mother and home maker that I know there is no way I could do both.

I become my best self when I'm singing. The walls that I sometimes have built around my heart fall down, the windows open, and I feel more like myself than ever. I loved being in musicals during my teen years. I loved composing the songs I have and sharing them. I don't need to be famous, I just want to sing. I want to sing songs of love and testimony, of joy, of life.

Jess is right. There is a different medium I need to find, and I believe this ladies' ensemble is the answer. I can sing, I can allow others to sing, and the commitment is at a level I and they can handle. We can get gigs, take turns doing solos, and just have a great time... singing!

Oh! and p.s. we aren't selling the house... for reals! The sign is gone and we are staying here. I am glad.

There are NO coincidences!

2010-06-19T16:38:00.000-06:00

Does it ever happen to you this way: When God is trying to get a message to you; an answer to prayer or just something you need to know, do you hear it over and over again everywhere you go, everything you read or listen to?

That happens to me a lot. And it has happened again recently.

Maybe it started when we decided to take our house off the market. It has been for sale for just over a year. We just reached the point where we couldn't financially afford to sell it. We couldn't keep dealing with the stress of showing it. We have had a hard time anyway thinking of leaving our neighbors here, and our location in general.

You just wonder what was that year for? Why all the stress and hope and dreams and waiting and praying?

Then that Sunday, we went to a Care Center to help with their Sabbath meeting. One of the speakers was a neighbor I don't yet know very well. His message was meant for me and it pierced me to the soul. His message: in the gospel of Jesus Christ, there are no coincidences.

We live where we live, meet who we meet, are born where we are born and move (or don't move) when and where we do for a reason.

Life is bigger than we are.

Then, later that same week, TWICE while listening to a radio show I was just flipping through, I heard two women telling my greatest struggle: there is so much to do and I can't do it all; I have to keep the house clean or I can't function (i.e. I'm a control freak!); I'm not giving my children the time or attention they need.

We all struggle with the balance one way or another. I just want to get the work and house in order quickly and then play all day with my kids. They often don't share the same vision. Others will relax and play all day but their houses fall apart. We all have to learn to come to that middle ground.

I keep learning and being reminded: the relationship comes first. Do I want my children to remember me as the nagging mother, or the example and friend? My attitude matters so much. My balance has been off. The house is difficult to keep up with, the kids have bad attitudes, I haven't had time to read. The schedule I had made for the summer wasn't even helping!

Over and over has come another yet to me related message: Children will grow up and be gone, enjoy this time, it won't last! It won't last but matters so much! Then I saw this quote:

Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep. – Ruth Hamilton

After these simple reminders, that life is bigger than me, that there are no coincidences, that children will grow up and be gone, that housework is necessary but not the focus.... things have been better.

Really better. I got the message.

I've been counting my blessings:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waYUzxK8TYA

Health and Herbs 101- the crash course

2010-05-19T17:11:00.000-06:00

I have several friends who keep asking me to teach a class on all I've learned about being more healthy and about herbal healing. Which isn't much. But it's enough to overwhelm anyone who hasn't dipped their toe in this pond before.

The first question is always: Where do I start? The motivation is usually to lose weight second to enjoying better health. If you are new to a healthy lifestyle or herbal healing, I highly suggest signing up for Dr. Christopher's Herbal Legacy weekly newsletter. They are very careful with your email (no selling it or using it any other way) and send you weekly recipes and herbal education.

I'll do my best here to take you down the basics and give you a spring board for your own adventures.

Keep in mind: getting discouraged is part of any education process. Although the ideas are inspiring, some of the tools wanted or needed may be out of reach for a while- financially or otherwise. You'll be surprised however, how quickly you acquire these tools the more you learn and patiently do things in wisdom and order.

#1 Food and prevention.

We all know prevention is the best medicine. This is why food choices are so important to a state of health.

Start here: Green Smoothies. Replace one meal a day with this.

Next: Soaked Whole Grains. Switching to whole grains is key, but in my opinion the switch might as well not take place unless these grains are soaked or sprouted. If you are already using whole grains, this is just the next step. If not, you might as well do the switch with the soaking because not only will the switch be easier on your digestion, but it will so quickly benefit your health! There are endless options for every meal from soaked-grain cereals to soaked-grain bread or sprouted-wheat bread!

Then: Eliminate from your diet as much as possible: cane sugar products (white sugar, brown sugar, sucanat or evaporated cane juice, sugar in the raw, etc.), corn syrups, dairy (except cultured dairy on occasion such as Kefir, sugar-free cultured yogurt, cultured buttermilk, raw milk, cream, butter, etc.), and cooked/baked flour products (unless sprouted or soaked), salt and eggs. Good substitutions for sugar are: Raw Honey, Stevia (Sweet Herb), Raw Agave Nectar (scroll down to where she addresses Agave) in moderation, Unsulfered or Blackstrap Molasses, Real Maple Syrup and Dates or Date powder. A nice substitution for salt is Bragg's Liquid Aminos or Kelp powder. Is my lifestyle free of all of this all of the time? No. Do I intentionally eliminate them as much as I can? Yes.

Then: Go raw. As much as possible. Sprouted grains, raw fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds. You'll see the options are limitless!

Next: Go sparing on the meat. The more I learn, I cannot align myself completely with any one school of thought except the Word of Wisdom. Dr. Christopher among many others, says red meat is out! Why? Mostly irradiation. Processed meats like sandwich meat, sausage, hot dogs are out! Self-evident reasons. Fish is the best choice. Young chicken is next. Sometimes Turkey. If you are going to eat beef or any of the above, always best to check your sources. Another school of thought is Dr. Weston Price, who believes it is detrimental for humans to be on a strictly vegan diet. Still, as you truly consider what it means to eat meat sparingly, a good portion of your meals won't include meat at all. So, how do I do that?...

Finally: Keep it simple, healthy and tasty and enjoy edible happiness! One of the things I like most about food is the creativity it affords. Be creative in new ways and enjoy this new outlet to your creativity!

#2 The "boost"

Where do we get our nutrition? From the food we intake. Right. Where in our body do we absorb the nutrition? Our intestines. Right. After years of not taking proper nutrition into our bodies, what might be the first place to clean house? The intestines.

Start here: The 3-day cleanse. It is important during the cleanse and ALWAYS to keep your bowels moving freely. Healthy bowels release as often as you eat, or about 3 times per day! Dr. Christopher makes a formula called Lower Bowel Formula which not only moves the bowels but also heals them in the process so that you won't need to take it indefinitely and you do not get addicted to it. It helps your bowels learn how to release that often themselves. He says the proper dose is as much as it takes to make you go three times per day. The dosage on the bottle says "2 capsules 3 times a day." I needed 3 capsules 3 times a day, and I know people who have needed more or less. A healthier diet will eventually also help you to eliminate more often on your own. Forget about losing weight and focus on this goal, and you will feel better and lose the weight faster besides!

Next: Raw Apple Cider Vinegar drink.

Finally: Exercise. Or better, Cellercise! All you really have to invest for this one is $20-$30 at Wal*Mart for a mini-tramp. The bouncing motion of jogging on the mini-tramp gives your body 3X the exercise of jogging alone. So 10 minutes on the mini-tramp = 30 minutes jogging. Other suggestions are core exercises such as Pilates and Yoga.

#3 I still got sick!

Preface:
Imagine that bacteria and virus' are not the "invisible enemy," as I learned from a storybook about Louis Pasteur as a child. Imagine that they are rather God's gift to the whole earth to clean up toxic and dead waste.

Imagine that even though bacteria and virus' are everywhere on everything, they only thrive where there is dead organic material or toxic waste to eat. Not hard to imagine? Because it's true.

So once you are eating right, your body will not have dead material nor toxic waste in it. There will be no excess mucus (systemic mucus) to clean out. Will you be able to get sick?

It has been my experience that when you first start to healthify your life, you may get sick as the bacteria and virus' aid you to rid your body of all the toxic waste you have built up over the years. If you do frequent cleanses and use the Raw Apple Cider Vinegar, you will aid in the cleansing process and will get through this period more quickly.

Still, there will be times you are ill.

The most important thing with natural remedies for illness is to act at the FIRST SIGN of illness. When herbs are necessary to aid in nourishing and healing the body, they need to be aggressively applied at the FIRST SIGNS of illness of ANY kind.

At the FIRST SIGN of any illness, (did I say at the FIRST SIGN?)

Start here: Liquids only. Nursing for infants and babies, Fresh or sugar-free bottled natural fruit juices, herbal teas, Distilled Water, and Salt-Free Vegetable or Potassium broths are all that is needed for the sick or the nursing mother of the sick to nourish the body while allowing it to heal quickly. Do not eat solids with ANY illness.

Next: Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. Its nourishing, healing and cleansing properties and its safety for any age and duration is unmatched. The number one choice for fevers, stomach aches or any type of illness. Brew it up and start drinking it several times a day until symptoms pass.

Then: Stop fighting symptoms, address the cause. (Scroll down to "AILMENTS AND PROGRAMS" for the previous link). Usually the healthful diet addresses every cause, but years of neglect can leave one area of the body more vulnerable causing it to flare even as you try to heal.

Finally: Fevers are usually the most worrisome to parents. Usually the Red Raspberry Tea regiment if done AT THE FIRST SIGN and faithfully is enough to help the fever to clean out the system to where it is gone within the day.

THE ENEMA: The importance and cleansing power of the enema is overlooked and possibly often avoided. However, it is a very saving procedure, especially in emergency situations with high fever or bad illness. For instance, in young children who refuse to drink because of their sickness or dehydration, what may be done? Catnip tea may be brewed at 2-3 times the strength (2-3 tsp. of crushed herb to each cup boiled water) so that ice and cold water may be added to the steeped hot tea to dilute it to normal strength ( 1 tsp. per cup water) and to room-temperature. This tea should be given as an enema. The cooler room temperature of the liquid will help the child retain the liquid until it warms to the hot temperature of their body. Meanwhile, the intestines will absorb the liquid, helping the child to not become dehydrated. And the tea will cleanse the body of the mucus-causing dis-ease. If you make herbal-tea drinking a part of your family culture, even young children will be willing to take tea.

BASIC TEA: Any crushed herb uses 1 tsp. of the crushed herb per cup of distilled water. Boil the distilled water, remove from heat and pour over the crushed herb, letting it steep for 5-10 minutes. Strain the herb and enjoy. Usually more palatable with a little raw honey mixed in. For breastfeeding infants, the mothers would consume the teas and just nurse the baby.

SUPPLIES: Every household would benefit greatly from an enema bag or bulb-syringe for that purpose, hot-water bottle or heating pad, cotton sheets and clothing, a humidifier, some olive oil (carrier oil for essential oils), and a small straining material such as Tulle or other small commercial strainers for straining herbs for teas.

My top 10 herbs or natural remedies:

1) Garlic: fresh. Once crushed, the garlic is superior to any antibiotic or anti-viral known to mankind. 4 cloves are equivalent to an adult dose of antibiotic. The most palatable way to take garlic is to mix 4 crushed cloves with 1 Tbsp. raw honey and to help in assimilation, 1/8-1/4 tsp. Cayenne Pepper. Take by the 1/2 tsp.-ful every half hour. This cures strep throat and will act as antibiotic for any bacterial condition. Repeat at least daily until symptoms disappear and for a day or two after.

Garlic oil can be made by crushing as much garlic as desired and pouring olive oil over it until covered and letting it sit for 24-36 hours, then straining out the garlic. The oil can be applied to the skin for garlic absorption for newborns all over their bodies and children and adults just to the bottoms of the feet is usually sufficient.

2) Red Raspberry Leaf (already addressed above)

3) Cayenne Pepper: Healer of the entire digestive tract; ulcers, intestinal issues. Great for circulation and saves lives during a heart attack. Aids most other herbs in healing.

4) Mullein: A soothing herb. Breaks up mucous in the chest or throat by rubbing the extract into the skin over the lungs and throat. Mixed with Lobelia is soothing for ear infections and aids in draining the lymphatic system.

5) Lobelia: An anti-spasmotic, settles the croup and helps with asthma attacks. Drink just a few drops in a bit of water for lighter attacks. For serious life-threatening attacks, it can be given by the teaspoonful up to a few every 20 minutes and will cause heaving, but will clear the mucous from the lungs.

6) Catnip: the tea of choice for young children after Red Raspberry Leaf; for cleansing the bowels (the first thing you always clean out in an illness) by enema. Also pleasant to drink.

7) Slippery Elm Bark: The best for stomach cramping and sicknesses.

8) Ginger: fresh root. I like to buy the root, peel it, slice it into 1/2-inch wedges and freeze like that. Each wedge brews a yummy cup of tea. Add to water and boil for 20 minutes.

9) Horseradish: fresh root. Once crushed, will clear sinuses so that a virus doesn't become a sinus infection. Crush 1/2 tsp and add to same amount Raw Apple Cider Vinegar and eat. Feel the pain in your sinuses. Breathe freely.

10) Onion: If ever your lungs are stuffed with mucous from a virus or pneumonia, sauteed thin onion slices applied to the chest and back over the lungs will break up the mucous and clear the lungs. Breathing in the onion can help clear the sinuses as well.

Essential Oils: Peppermint: makes all other herbal teas taste great. Many healing properties, also good for fevers and stomach ailments.
Ravensara, Tea Tree and Lavendar essential oils: Ravensara oil goes straight to the respiratory tract, is safe even for newborns and keeps a viral respiratory illness from becoming bacterial (pneumonia). Tea Tree is similar and is also a great antiseptic to be applied to cuts and scrapes, is numbing, and healing. Lavendar is a great skin healer. Used with shea butter it lessens the reactions of eczema. Also safe for the very young.

I hope this has been helpful and a great place to jump start your own journey to health!

Puppy Love

2010-05-17T17:31:00.000-06:00

Something you may not know about us: we have had 4 dogs. But we have never had them for very long. Of all animals, I probably can deal with dogs the best, besides your average parakeet, at least small dogs.

When Jess brought Kallie home, she was a puppy and SO cute. A cross between a Weimerhaner and German Shorthair, she inherited the hyperactivity of both breeds, looked like a Weim and somehow was colored like a chocolate lab. She became a medium to large dog, chewed EVERYTHING up as a puppy, and after 2 years was finally trained and obedient. Still, over the course of those 2 years I had carried and given birth to my second baby, only 19 months after the first, we had no fence or grass in our muddy yard, and I was not doing well with 3 babies to care for. I was tired. We gave Kallie away to a lady from our small town of Eagle Mountain.

It was a couple years later that I had read somewhere that small dogs such as Chihuahuas may be able to litter-box train like a cat. I mentioned to Miriam that if we could have a small litter-trained dog, I might be able to handle that. Might. She began to pray us a Chihuahua. When our neighbor with whom I had shared that Miriam was praying for a dog called to tell me she had found a black Chihuahua in her minivan after dining at Cafe Rio-- with no tags on it, we both figured Miriam had prayed that dog to us. We took her in but we could not litter-box train her. We couldn't really even house train her. She didn't love the kids, she was a little moody, snappy and nervous, Jess hated her (he called her "the rat," not so affectionately), and we gave her away after 6 months..

Only a puppy, Sparky had had a rough 8 weeks already when we bought him from some neighbors. He was a beautiful Yorkshire Terrier, but had been born the runt of the litter. Something about this prompted his mommy to eat part of him. A very important part. His little private part. But he still had a little hole there and could go pee. He was so sweet and house-trained beautifully, but (and there always seems to be a but), he leaked. Yes leaked. Probably had something to do with his "condition." He would go outside to do his business, but while sitting on the couch or your lap, he would just dribble out that little hole of his. We sold him to a kind lady who didn't mind diapering him-- seriously.

This past Saturday, Miriam was at the Hale Center Theater here in Orem auditioning for Cinderella and in wandered Annie-- a small white poodle. We didn't know her name until today because although she had 2 tags on, only one had a phone number and it was for her vet in Richfield. The other showed she was licensed in Aurora City, UT. The vet would not answer his phone until today. We found the worried owners and learned her name is Annie and she is pregnant. She was the best dog we have had around so far. She was house trained, very mellow, very sweet and cuddly. We didn't expect to have her very long, but the kids loved tending her all weekend. Miriam was crying when she left for school today, and Tate cried for about an hour. Poor things.

It has been good to own so many varieties of breeds because now I know I prefer a poodle to all the others. Perhaps when Elsie is 5 years old, my kids can care for a dog. Perhaps.

Kallie

Miriam with Cricket

Creed with Cricket

Sparky

Miriam with Sparky

Creed with Sparky

Tate with Sparky (he was very patient)

Kids with Annie

Miriam found out Saturday that she did make the play Cinderella at HCTO. She will be playing the role of Tiki Mouse. The productions are toward the end of July.

This past weekend, Miriam and our neighbors Taylor, Kaitlyn and Brianna Black starred in a skit called "The Doctor Visit" in our ward talent show. They had a blast practicing together. They got a lot of laughs out of the audience and several themselves while practicing over the past few weeks.

Miriam, Taylor, Kaitlyn, Brianna

Honor

2010-04-28T10:51:00.000-06:00

I am planning to register for a mom's retreat coming up this October. The theme for the retreat is on honoring our husbands. What a great subject, for what could effect the growth of a child more? In order to complete the registration, each applicant has been asked to write a paper about honoring their husband. If you would like to read what I have come up with so far, you are welcome to click here.

A couple weekends ago, Jess was supposed to go mountain biking in Moab with some guys in our ward. They ALL (hello!) had something come up, so he got his mom to watch our kids and invited me to go instead. We got down there Friday night about 7:30 p.m. and went on one ride, finishing just as the sun set. We cleaned up then went out to dinner at 9:00 p.m (usually my bed time ;) then went hot-tubbing, then slept all night. Got up, went on a hike, another bike ride, and another hike. Then we showered and went home. It was short and sweet, but a nice getaway.

On that last hike, I had gotten my shoes wet in the river-- intentionally because it was hot, and it made them looser, so my toes were sliding forward every step hitting the inside fronts. My big toes were a little sore, but now a week and 1/2 later I am all purple under my big toes. Bruises.

I officially un-enrolled Miriam from Noah Webster Academy yesterday for next year. Miriam and Creed will be doing Alpine Online and we are very excited about it. They offer Saxon math which they have been doing and we can take as few as 3 or as much as 6 subjects with them. It takes some of the pressure off of me while also allowing us the freedom to structure things the way we like. What a blessing!

We lowered the price on our house and hope we sell it in the next few months. If it doesn't sell now and at this price, it won't, and we'll have to start thinking about things differently. But I am still hopeful something is going to happen.

Elsie gave up her binki a week ago, thanks to Grampie. He held it for her while she ate her dinner. I put it away after that and each time she asked for it I reminded her Grampie was holding it. She likes knowing it is safe with him. She is such a big girl now and talks more. Yesterday she said her first full sentence: "Push me higher please," while she was swinging.

It is such a privilege and joy to be the mom of my 5 kids. Each one brings me so much joy. I hope every mother gets the chance to feel this way.

We got a trampoline a couple weeks ago. One day I straightened Danna's hair and then she went out and jumped. It was so funny.

The Depth of Honor

2010-04-14T16:28:00.000-06:00

As the proper time approached to search for, find and choose a spouse, all I knew about honor I had learned from my parents, other mentors and classics. There had been countless times I had thought "that's how I want to be with my husband," and sadly, many times I had also thought "I never want it to be like that."

Had I stopped at that time to write about my interpretation of honor, I doubt I would have been able to put it to words much better than I can now. I only knew there was something of it in things I tended to notice: kind words spoken about a spouse, gratitude expressed, physical embraces, continued courting, checked opinions, tongues held. What honor consistently looked like reminded me of a scripture describing Mary, the mother of Jesus when it explains that "she kept all these things in her heart." What was so great and so sacred that a woman, social creature as she is, could keep it in her heart? These were experiences-- owned by her-- that consistently bore character qualities of trust, giving and graciously receiving gifts, taking personal responsibility, and understanding one's own divine nature, power and influence with others.

I used to think that honor was something that a man earned. Perhaps this is true for the honored, from his self-perspective. But for the honorer, it too begins with self. The honor I have for my husband began with me, before we ever met, before the proper time came to seek one another. It began with my choices and honoring myself and God. Through repeated experiences of honoring my divine nature and seeking to follow that Inner Voice, I learned to trust my own judgment in being able to make correct choices which would lead to my happiness and joy. Practicing honor with God and with myself assured that I was surrounded- throughout my life- with other people who were also honorable. These individuals became easily recognizable, for I could see in them reflected the values and ideals that kept me happy. Thus, it wasn't difficult to see in the man I eventually married these same recognizable qualities. And having learned, through ever-building experiences, to trust my judgment in noticing such qualities, I could be to this degree confident in my ability to choose an honorable man. Trusting him to be consistent in his character was the foundation of our friendship and eventually our marriage.

Knowing this was disillusioning to me, therefore, in the early years of my marriage when I found it difficult at times to honor my husband. I wanted to honor him, but his choices sometimes made that difficult for me. I came to know for myself that honoring my husband isn't just for the times he deserves it. I know now that it was a subtle abandonment of trust on my part, harsh judgment that crept slowly in to replace the ever-healing benefit-of-the-doubt. It was unrealistic expectations, assumptions and lack of personal responsibility to myself and my man. It was also an incomplete understanding of my own power and influence that had led to this disillusionment. Looking back, I am happy at least that I honored him-- and us-- enough to "keep these things in my heart" -- and between just us and God--long enough to open my heart up to the mentors and classics that came my way overflowing just for the asking.

My greatest mentors in this area were many dear friends including Jana Flake and my sister-in-law Caryn Colton. Through example and instruction-- both formal and informal-- these two women, among many others, helped me to begin to re-capture the perspective of truly honoring my husband. A Relief Society (my church's women's organization) leader, Julie Beck has been a great mentor from a distance through her encouraging and inspiring words. Countless excerpts from scripture continued me along this saving path. Then, teaching line upon line, precept upon precept as God does, entered my life the classic that most helped me recognize again what it meant to truly honor my husband, which was Laura Doyle's "The Surrendered Wife." What I came to learn was that continuing my trust in my husband is the foundation of my honoring him. Trusting him to support me and our children, trusting him to take care of us, to make wise decisions and, most importantly, trusting him to take responsibility and learn from his own mistakes when he doesn't. This trust weaves through every detail of a marriage, from being the passenger in a car he is driving, to money concerns, to issues surrounding the bearing and raising of children. A woman who honors her husband doesn't need to tell him how to drive or give directions, doesn’t need to pay the bills nor to control all decisions concerning him and her children. The first principle of this trust for me was remembering the trust I had in my choice of a spouse in the first place.

Honorable people are gracious people. They give to others because of their virtues and the Godly love that exists between them. They, too, recognize goodness and honor in others and want to reward that with their love and gifts. The key to this principle I had been missing was that while part of honoring my husband is in my giving these gifts to him in their many forms, an even bigger aspect of honoring him is in my graciously receiving his gifts to me. The trick is often in recognizing these gifts. Something huge changes when a wife is looking to recognize gifts from rather than pick out weaknesses in her man. In all the giving and receiving that takes place in a marriage, the greatest gift a woman can give besides her trust is closely related to that trust; it is her benefit-of-the-doubt. There are many other mentionable gifts, such as a sense of humor, a smiling face, a willingness to quickly apologize when wrong. But more mentionable is that she honors her husband to the degree she can accept his many attempts at trying to make her happy graciously, as the greatest of gifts.

Learning these principles was one thing. Still, I had difficulty noticing his gifts to me when, honestly, I was using so much energy worried about his deserving my honor at all times. Somehow my attitude had changed from when I was single expecting my own choices, hobbies, interests and accomplishments to make me happy, to being married and expecting him to make me happy. Although this is my man's greatest desire, expecting this of him solely is unrealistic. Again, returning to my personal responsibility to create my own happiness is a most important way to honor my husband. I do things I enjoy, and then I share my adventures and happiness with him. I learn, I develop my talents, I create and build and serve others. I continue to be that consistently happy and interesting person he married, and in this way I most honor him.

Gaining a true and deep understanding of, and then a testimony of the depth of my own power and influence with others has been the crowning principle of honoring my husband. Though having crowned all my efforts, this principle has brought me to the depths of what it truly means to honor him. This principle is closely related to that ability to receive gifts graciously. As women, we give and nurture constantly. Being able to recognize and receive gifts is thus imperative to our well-being, for it is these gifts that fill us back up, if we let them.

To help me illustrate this principle, let me quote a former Prophet of my church Gordon B. Hinckley: "The next question you ask is why Eve was created from Adam. I can only respond that an all-wise Creator did it that way. However, as I have noted before, there is something very interesting about this situation. In the sequence of events as set forth in the scripture, God first created the earth, and the earth was without form, and void.” (Gen. 1:2.) He then separated the light from the darkness, and the waters from the land. Then came the creation of vegetation of all kinds, giving the beauty of trees and grass, flowers and shrubs. Then followed the creation of animal life in the sea and upon the land. Having looked over all of this, He declared it to be good. He then created man in His own likeness and image. Then as His final creation, the crowning of His glorious work, He created woman. I like to regard Eve as His masterpiece after all that had gone before, the final work before He rested from His labors. I do not regard her as being in second place to Adam. She was placed at his side as an helpmeet. They were together in the Garden, they were expelled together, and they labored together in the world into which they were driven . . .you call attention to the statement in the scriptures that Adam should rule over Eve. (See Gen. 3:16.) You ask why this is so. . .My own interpretation of that sentence is that the husband shall have a governing responsibility to provide for, to protect, to strengthen and shield the wife."

A man who provides for, protects, strengthens and shields his wife is an honorable man. The woman who recognizes his need for her-- physically, spiritually and emotionally, and the great power of her influence with him is a woman who knows, as Julie Beck stated: "[Marriage mean[s] work, but [it is] our great work—and we are not afraid of work. This is what we do best; no one does [marriage] better than [women].” So, what happens when one’s husband isn’t , in her opinion, deserving of her honor? There are varying degrees of this I suppose in every marriage. I know I am not perfect and cannot expect this of my husband. There will be times he will fail us, fail me, and fail himself. Again, the best way I can honor him is to give him the benefit of the doubt and remind myself, hard though it may be, that he is an honorable person, for that is what attracted me to him. I expect him to act and be a certain way, but when he doesn’t or isn’t, I remind myself to trust that he will and must learn from his own mistakes and take responsibility for his own choices. I go on and do the best I can, be forgiving, and pray for him. This may encompass the most difficult part of honoring one’s husband. And as Laura Doyle states as a section heading in her book The Surrendered Wife: "No Trumpets Will Sound." No, indeed they won't. A woman who truly understands her great power and capacity for influence also understands how eternally significant and far-reaching this influence has. It becomes very sacred to her, and like Mary, she has found the great secret worth keeping in her heart.

Eczema

2010-04-09T15:16:00.000-06:00

Almost any skin rash we have is cured immediately with the following:

Shea butter
A couple drops of lavender essential oil

When my youngest was about 6 months old and I was still using cloth diapers on her as I did with my 4th, she started getting the worst diaper rash I had ever experienced. None of my kids had had much problem with diaper rashes, but this one was very persistent and ugly.

I was afraid it had to do with the cloth diapers not being washed thoroughly. I had just purchased some new cloth diapers that were easier to use than disposables, even kept in things better, and cleaned very easily. After discussing with the owner of the website where I had purchased these awesome cloth diapers, I learned that I had the wrong kind of washing machine for this type of diaper. They cleaned better in a regular top-loader, and I had a front-loader which generally doesn't use enough water to really rinse and clean these kinds. According to her advice, I began doing nine cycles before I was sure they were clean. But this also didn't help with the rash. I started using disposable diapers just to be sure. Still, the rash only worsened.

I had purchased every kind of diaper cream I could learn about on the internet. This happened to be during the time my husband had been laid-off and was out of work, thus we were without insurance.

I tried tea tree oil, different herbal mixtures I had read about, etc. Different oils, coconut and olive and others. After fighting this rash with everything from bare-naked in the sunshine to every cream (even Mylanta topically, which I had used on my babies for diaper rashes in the past very effectively), trying to stick with more natural things, for about a month, I finally paid a visit to the pediatrician.

He couldn't diagnose the rash. He was sure it wasn't staff or something more serious. He said it could be a fungus. As an afterthought, he said that if it didn't help, I could try hydrocortizone cream because it resembled eczema. I decided to try the anti-fungal cream available just over the counter. But I doubted this would take care of it, as I had already used several natural things that would kill fungus.

It didn't help. In desperation I bought some hydrocoritzone cream, and it took that rash away right away. I only had to use it a couple times and it was gone and only came back sometimes after a particularly warm bath. I couldn't figure if it was some food as I was mostly nursing her. They suggest cutting milk but I wasn't having milk.

It wasn't until about a year later that I learned a sure way to get rid of eczema rashes and discomfort without the hydrocoritzone. Shea butter it great and mixed with a couple drops of pure lavendar essential oil takes care of the rash even better than hydrocoritzone.

I now use this on her rear end when she gets any diaper rash and it cures it by the next change. I use it when she gets little patches of eczema when she drools around her neckline, etc. I also since learned that she is allergic to soy. After a month of a constant runny nose, I cut soy out of her diet and the runny noses and eczema stopped. I had been using more soy during the time I was pregnant with her and nursing her. I now use more of a variety, but I was learning.

Burns

2010-04-09T14:56:00.000-06:00

Just over a year ago during the winter months when we had our wood stove stoked and burning most days, my little then 1 and 1/2 yr.- old was "spinning" by the stove and struck her had on it. She was burned on the back of the three middle knuckles pretty badly. Here is an actual picture of it as it was healing. Earlier, the wounds were open and oozing, having formed blisters and then the blisters having drained themselves and then coming open. We had been told to cut off the excess dead skin, but I have learned since that keeping that skin intact protects against infection and unlike western medicine which would scrub off dead skin on a healing burn, the natural approach allows the healing comfrey herb and vitamin E in the wheatgerm oil to help the skin grow back in, looking like white gel-like tissue as it does.

When the burn occurred, my husband had just been laid-off and we were without insurance. I called my herbal-savvy friend who knew about and had all the herbs necessary to make burn paste, and we drove the 1/2 hour to Eagle Mountain where we used to live to get them from her. I mixed equal parts powdered comfrey, wheat germ oil and raw honey. We lathered it gently over the burn and had her wear a sock.

The only problem we had with it was that the sock would stick to the drying paste. Sometimes this was difficult. As it heals the burned skin, it tends to look gel-like, kind of gross, actually. But it smelled fine and wasn't spreading red like an infection would. I have learned since that simply putting a cabbage leaf or even a lettuce leaf over the burn paste takes care of this sticking problem.

We used this same paste mixture when my son fell on our running treadmill and was caught between the moving belt and the wall and got a belt-burn/abrasion up his spine. It was disgusting! And he was in such pain. This paste was soothing and putting the cabbage leaves over it made all the difference. Both things healed beautifully, with no scarring on her hand and minimal scars on my son's back.

Dr. Christopher makes a Flesh, Bone and Cartilage paste that has similar ingredients. I have used this in place of the paste when I have had it on hand. It sometimes works best to rub the mixture onto the leaf and then wrap or cover the leaf onto the wound so you are not having to rub stuff onto a painful wound or burn.

Ear Infections

2010-04-09T14:38:00.000-06:00

Not long ago, our family got a nasty virus. My second got it first and just hacked junk up. He had complained a couple days earlier of a sore throat that had gone away by the next day, then he started just coughing junk up. He didn't seem sick, maybe just like allergies or something. But the coughing up of junk just continued. There was no fever. About a week into it, he started complaining of an ear ache. This ear ache was so bad that he was crying (at 8 years old, he doesn't cry out loud over much).

It had been earlier that week that we had gone to a restaurant and my husband and I had decided together that although all the cousins there with us were ordering chocolate milk or apple juice, we would just order water so the kids would eat their meal. While I took one child to the restroom however, a relative decided that my kids were missing out and that she would just pay for them to have some chocolate milk. This was assuming that our reasoning was just over money, which it was not.

I politely declined but this relative was hurt about the wasted chocolate milks that had been brought and by this time, all my kids were very upset that they had been told they could have some and now couldn't.

To keep the peace I relented. Now, we were paying for it with these ear infections. One after the other, my kids started hacking up junk and having sinus and ear issues. This sickness lasted for the better part of 3 weeks and was really an inconvenience. I truly believe that had they not had those huge chocolate milks (loaded with milk and sugar, two of the greatest mucous-causing culprits), we would have shortened the duration of the illness.

I know, in fact, that this was the case with me because I had not had sugar nor milk. I also got feeling tight-chested like I used to feel when I had allergy or viral-related asthma. I used lobelia for a couple of days, just some of the tincture in water 3 X day. When it started into my sinuses, I just used grapefruit seed extract as a nasal rinse, along with saline, drank my raw apple cider vinegar drinks, drank some ginger cayenne tea and took some garlic myself. Within 5 days I was fine and never had much grief over the illness.

Back to the ear infection. By the next day, my other son also had the really painful ear ache. I knew that garlic oil and some mullein and lobelia in the ear would help. So we used the drops and it came on with a vengeance. I didn't know how to get kids this young to take raw crushed garlic internally. My sister had the idea to mix it into orange juice. This only worked once we used a straw because if they would sip it, the garlic would be left in the bottom. The straw sucked it up and they could just swallow quickly.

I have learned since how palatable fresh crushed garlic can be when simply mixed equal parts with raw honey. It is sweet and a bit hot, but goes down quite easily.

It was less than 4 hours until the pain was gone with both boys and the ear infections never returned. Incidentally, my younger children who have never had cow's milk throughout their lives never got the ear infection.

Breast Feeding

2010-04-08T16:20:00.000-06:00

Is nursing really natural? Does it come naturally? My experience with myself and others tells me that nursing is nothing short of an art. It takes skill and practice, persistence and patience. Maybe by your 3rd or 4th child it is what you and I would consider natural. But on the first, no.

I highly recommend getting help with nursing on your first baby. Don't hesitate to call a La Leche League leader (this links to finding a leader to help you in the U.S.) or another similar organization, ask an experienced mother, friend or sister or get help from a nursing specialists or your midwife or doula at the time of the delivery of your baby. The benefits of nursing your baby are incalculable. This benefit increases as the mother's diet is healthy. "Healthy" is defined many ways by many different sources. To me, it means eating as much raw as possible, less of flour, sugar, red meats and milk. Any meats that are eaten are eaten sparingly and are usually limited to fish and young chicken.

My first baby I only nursed for 3 months. I didn't know then what I know now. As a new mother, I was afraid she was starving herself. Incidentally, I learned later she had gotten an ear infection as soon as I began supplementing with formula and thus she refused to nurse because of the pain. I was known to say that she weaned herself at 3 months, but I know better now. I didn't stick with it. I wasn't persistent enough. I know now that cow's milk (infant formula) is the greatest cause of ear infections in children. There was so much I would have done differently had I only known.

My second I nursed for 7 months. The first two came only 19 months apart and an opportunity came to go away on a week-long river trip. I needed to get away. I was having trouble deciding whether it was worth weaning him at 7 months even though my milk supply seemed to be drying up. His first teeth grew in and he bit me once. I decided he was done. I went on the trip. Although it was good to get away, again, if I knew then what I know now, that decision wouldn't have been an option.

By the time my last two came along, I just knew that I was giving up at least 2 years of my life to the new baby... the pregnancy and nursing afterward for at least a year. I'll admit though, this is an easier thought to swallow when you already have several children at home and you are used to not getting out as much.

Baby #2 had recurrent ear infections and received tubes in his ears at age 11 mo. I know now all that could have been avoided by avoiding infant formula. But I didn't have this *cool* blog to read back then to clue me in to any different kind of thinking.

It was also right after the birth of #2 that my midwife found a lump on my thyroid. This became my first introduction to how diet can affect my health. I did a lot of studying and tried to heal my condition by seeing a natural healer. When he was 11 months old, I ended up getting the left lobe of my thyroid removed and found out that it was a benign tumor. I began taking a natural thyroid, Armor brand thyroid which comes from pigs, and went on my merry way, never giving much more thought to the things others had tried to start me learning about proper diet.

My third I nursed also for about 7 months. I had started him on solids at about 4 months like the others, and like with my second, it seemed my milk supply was drying out once again. Also, it had worked out nicely before, it got him through the winter RSV stage and gave him the good start he needed. On he went to formula ($$) i.e. and cow's milk like the others. Like the two before him, ear infections were rather common. I see video of him as a waddler/toddler and the dark circles under his eyes and the constant runny nose tell me now it was that darned cow's milk again.

About the time #3 was 1-2 yrs. old, I began studying a lot. It didn't start with nutrition. But as I became an avid studier and reader, my horizons broadened and friendships bloomed, and it led me at least on part of this journey to learning about herbs and diet, a journey which has changed everything.

So, with my last 2 babies, things went A LOT differently. I look back and I am more happy about the choices I was able to make for them. Still, much of what I have learned has happened since they were born, and although I know now I could have done SO much better, I am glad to know I did the best with what I knew then.

My fourth, I nursed for a year. Although that was really a great thing for us both, she could have and should have nursed longer, but once again, *selfish* me weaned her because it was my 10th anniversary and we were going to Cancun (a story in and of itself). She weaned to cows milk, but at least it was raw cow's milk from a very safe source. (much better assimilated by the human body).

They say your first baby is your guinea pig. This was true for many things, but in a very real way, #4 for me was another kind of guinea pig. She tried out cloth diapers, nursing longer, a better diet. Guess what? With her, no ear infections, no, not one. Less illnesses. Less visits to the Dr. The difference was so amazing.

However, she was born in November, just in time for the stress of Holidays and with 3 other kids to care for, stress levels were high. This is a sure recipe for Mastitis, a breast infection. In my experience, there are 5 ingredients that contribute to Mastitis:

1) Stress
2) Lack of Sleep
3) Inadequate Fluid consumption
4) Cold Weather (getting chilled)
5) Eating too many sugars and fats

Now, looking at the above list, ask yourself, isn't a November baby a sure recipe for this condition? I found that if I didn't take extreme care to alleviate as many of these ingredients as possible, without fail, the Mastitis would return.

Of course, some of the ingredients are almost impossible to overcome as a new mother: Stress and Lack of Sleep among them. But drinking a lot, bundling up to keep extremely warm and not eating fats and sugars ARE controllable and need to be maintained with extreme care.

Again, when I first got Mastitis, I didn't know what I know now, so I called the Dr. and got some antibiotics. One thing I did right was to keep nursing the baby, no matter the pain, and nurse a lot. However, my sister who had a December baby this past year is a better example of how Mastitis can be healed using some simple herbs.

Some things I have learned about nursing:

1) It is best to nurse on demand.

Where on other babies I had dried up by 7 months, I learned that babies are not ready for solids at 6 months (let alone 4 months), or even at a year. The signal their own body gives as to when they are ready to ingest solids is that their i-teeth come in, and this happens at around 18 months! By withholding solids from them as long as possible, my milk supply stayed strong.

I have also realized (thanks to a smart hospital nurse) that I would have to choose between nursing throughout the night and thus keeping a good milk supply OR getting my sleep and training a baby to sleep through the night but then not keeping up a good milk supply. If I wanted to nurse for a year or longer, I would have to be willing to nurse on demand during the night. Sometimes this meant not letting a sleepy newborn sleep through the night, even though it was so tempting to let them do so.

2) Use the three-hour rule. If a baby nurses for less than 10 minutes on one side and is hungry again within three hours, place them back on that same side. If still hungry after that feeding it is then fine to nurse them on the other side. This allows them to get the hind milk which comes after the first or foremilk, and carries more of the fat.

3) Every baby nurses differently, so be patient.

Growth spurts at intervals such as the 2-week and 4- month marks, but with others in between, cause the nursing to increase before the milk supply has increased. Baby will seem to nurse more and seem to be starving and frustrated. Keep with it, your body will do what it should. Some babies get all they need in 5 minutes. How do you know? If not, they will want to eat again, so feed them again. Of course some babies are "colicy," whatever that is, and want to eat or suck for comfort from a sore belly or just getting used to this new body of theirs. Keep it up, as they grow things will even out.

4) Every woman is different as well. The milk supply has nothing to do with size of breasts. If you seem to not make milk, start drinking red raspberry leaf tea 3 or more times a day. This is safe and very beneficial before and all during pregnancy, during nursing and during any hormonal changing times for women. If your nipples get sore, check how the baby is latched on, that it is correct. Try these natural remedies.

Cleansing and Fortifying

2010-04-04T14:12:00.000-06:00

Three-day cleanse (from Dr. Christopher):
You will need:
2-3 gallons apple juice
1 qt. prune juice
olive oil
2-3 gallons distilled water

The most important thing is to "chew" juices, or swish them around in your mouth to mix them with saliva before you swallow them. This is the key to the whole cleanse.
first thing a.m.: 8 oz. prune juice
within 1/2 hour: 8 oz. apple juice (welches, organic brand, or as fresh as possible) (mix with 1-2 Tbs. olive oil)
about 1/2 hour later: 8 oz. distilled water
~switch off every half our or as often as needed apple juice w/ distilled water, adding olive oil to apple juice at typical meal times (twice more that day)

~if you get extremely hungry, eat a carrot or celery or an apple or all in the evening.

~repeat for 3 days (work up to it over time, start with one or 1 1/2 days), then fast the 4th (or last) day.

~if you are constipated, drink more prune juice.

~after the fast or cleanse, ease back into eating with fresh fruits and veggies, smoothies, sprouted grains.

Apple Cider Vinegar Drink

Raw Apple Cider Vinegar: BRAGG'S brand (in a glass jar)

Mix 1 Tbs BRAGGS Apple Cider Vinegar, 8 oz water, 1 Tbs. honey (raw honey is best), and drink 2-3 times per day.

If you'd like to know more about BRAGG'S Apple Cider Vinegar:
http://www.bragg.com/products/acvFAQ.html

Dr. Christopher says that drinking this also heals and regulates the amount of hydrochloric acid for proper digestion. It has SO many benefits.

Sprouted (raw) grains:
Use wheat, oat groats (looks like whole wheat, not rolled or quick), rye, barley, etc... start in the afternoon (2-3 p.m.)

Boil 1-2 cups of water. Put grain(s) in a thermos. Add twice the amount of boiling water to thermos. (i.e. 1 c. grains to 2 c. water). Seal thermos, and leave over night.

~ in the morning, open thermos to find your sprouted grains (they are just soft, warm, burst open). Add a little salt and some honey or agave nectar for a yummy, raw, nutritional treat. Save in a container in the fridge. Also a yummy salad-topper when cool, or added to cold cereal like granola.

Drain, rinse and keep in container with screened lid for another day to continue sprouting further, dry sprouts thoroughly in a food dehydrator, then grind and use to make sprouted grain bread.

~IMPORTANT: to re-heat, put in pan on lowest setting for about 20 minutes. Do not heat in microwave or heat above the lowest setting, or they will no longer be "raw."

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea:
http://www.herballegacy.com/Corless_Experience.html

when you click on this link about Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, you can see other links, such as "medicinal properties" and "chemical makeup"; like that, to learn more about it.

Here is also another great link about it:
http://proliberty.com/observer//20060614.htm

Easy to buy in bulk at The Good Earth. 1 tsp. crushed herb (don't get the powdered form for teas) to 8 oz. boiled water. First boil the water, remove from heat then add the leaf. Steep off the heat for 5-10 minutes, strain the leaf, add honey if desired, and drink.

A Camping We Will Go

2010-04-03T12:14:00.000-06:00

We were able to go camping last weekend near St. George, UT at Redcliffs Campground. My sister, Sadie and her family joined us and we are so glad, it was really fun hanging out with them!

We celebrated Easter that weekend (a week early) and hiked, enjoyed the sun and tried to stay warm at night. The kids were sandy red all day and never bored. We set up a hammock and they were either swinging, hiking, playing in the sand or snacking. We are grateful for the safety and fun we enjoyed the whole weekend. We were able to visit with Jess' grandma Billi and go out to eat, relax and spend lots of time together.

On the way home, we took a little diversion to some Hot Pots in Meadow, UT.

Upon returning home, we had quite a crazy week as Miriam got very sick. You may read about our experience by clicking here.

Hiking:

Easter Festivities:

Hot Pots:

Appendicitis

2010-04-03T12:06:00.000-06:00

Most sicknesses do not require a whole lot. Appendicitis is very serious. To treat appendicitis herbally, I used:

crushed Catnip
Enema bag or bulb syringe
Castor Oil
White cotton cloth
Plastic Wrap
Heating pad/ Ice pack
Powdered Slippery Elm Bark
Granulated Lobelia
Granulated Mullein
Ground Ginger
Corn Meal
Distilled Water, several gallons
Fresh garlic
Raw honey
Dr. Christopher's Lower Bowel formula

From what I had studied, I understood I would need to do the following:

1) Boil distilled water to make catnip tea. (always 1 tsp. crushed herb per cup of water; steep in water just taken off heat after boiling for 5-10 minutes.)

2) Get as much tea in as possible. Drink it. Give enema(s) with it. The idea is to get in as much and as hot as possible. This provides immediate relief. When they feel emptied, they can rest.

3) Keep pushing fluids. Remain on fluids only until pain is absolutely gone: Slippery Elm Bark tea (use up to 1 Tbsp. powder just mixed in hot water, it is good to drink the powder), pure fruit juices, distilled water, other teas, saltless vegetable broths. Every half hour try to drink a full cup of liquid is a good rule.

4) White cotton cloths need to go up the spine and around the right side of the abdomen wrapping from back to front. Dip them in the catnip tea, wring out well, douse in Castor oil, lay over spine and around abdomen, cover with plastic wrap and apply hot or cold to appendix area as wanted (the patient will want one or the other, whenever they want, whatever they want).

5) Do more catnip enemas, again as warm and as much as possible. Do as much as they will take until it seems mostly tea is coming back out.

6) Mix equal parts fresh crushed garlic with raw honey and take it by spoonful every half hour.

7) At night, make a poultice of 1Tbsp. Lobelia, a handful of Mullein, sprinkled with Ginger, mixed with cornmeal and steaming hot water and apply over appendix. Allow it to cool and dry, then repeat.

My experience:

Today is the first day I woke up feeling the past week's burdens lifted nearly completely. The past three days have been a mixture of relief and shock.

It was March 30, this past Tuesday when I began to write about this unforeseen experience and I recap:

My oldest (9 years old) has had on and off stomach aches for about 2 weeks. It started hurting her again after we swam in the Meadow hotpots on our way home from a camping trip Sunday evening.

She attended school Monday with the tummy ache we attributed to stress. It went away mostly during the day but returned after our Family Home Evening treats and got to the point where I found her crying and doubled over in the fetal position at an "8" or "9" (on a pain scale from 1-10) at around 2 a.m. this morning.

As I looked at her huddled on the bathroom floor, feeling helpless, the thought came to me clearly "it's appendicitis." I walked into our bedroom and told my husband what I had thought. He said "I just had the same thought."

Her excruciating pain was all over her lower abdomen, it had not settled to the right side yet, but the Holy Ghost had told me what it was, so I knew I had two choices. I could rush into the E.R. or I could review the herbal remedies and see what I could do until something got better or worse.

I remembered having recently skimmed over a section in Dr. Christopher's Home Healthcare book about appendicitis. I remember thinking "I had no idea that Castor Oil could draw toxins out of the appendix so surgery is not necessary. That's good to know if someday the procedure is unavailable. I don't think I'd dare to try it unless I had to." Also, just a few months ago, my nephew who is the same age as my oldest also had appendicitis (crazy, I know) and after thousands of dollars, a surgery and a very frustrating and scary experience at Primary Children's Medical Center, he is finally and thankfully well again.

I weighed everything in my heart and in my mind. Either way, time was of the essence. Entered the nerves and worries, the doubts and fears that would be countered only by the Spirit's comfort and sustaining guidance throughout what I now see as the scariest and most difficult day I have ever lived.

I found my Herbal book and began following the instructions for overcoming appendicitis.

I immediately began brewing catnip tea. (Yes, I had some on hand. I had had it for about a year and wondered if I ever would use it.) When it was still nice and hot/warm, I had her drink a cupful and we began enemas with the hot tea. She would retain them as long as she could then let them out. She was able to retain them for a while, so it took us about 2 hours to go through 4 good enemas. The idea was to get as much fluid in as warm as possible. During this time she also drank another cupful of tea.

It was now 4 a.m. and her pain was down to a "2-3". We both got some sleep. At 7 a.m. I checked on her. Her pain level was still around a "3" but had now moved down to the right side. The rebound test was positive and she wouldn't even try to jump. I gave her some more tea to drink then ran to Harmon's around the corner and bought some Castor Oil, pure fruit juices and a heating pad. When I got home, I took an old white cotton T-shirt I had cut into 2 strips just the size I needed, moistened them with the catnip tea, wrung them out well, then doused them in the Castor Oil. I covered her spine and lower right abdomen curving from the back to front, then covered the oiled cloths with plastic wrap. We kept heat or ice (whichever she desired and whenever she desired) on the Castor Oil fomentation for the next 8 hrs. I checked it often to make sure it was still moist and oily, but I never had to add more liquid nor oil during that time. She only asked for the ice 3 times, and it wasn't ever for very long, maybe 10 minutes. She mostly wanted the heat. We just listened to her body.

During those 8 hours, I gave her a full cup of either juice or tea every half hour. At 10 a.m. when the nearest herb shop opened, I bought some Slippery Elm Bark Tea and made sure she drank several cups of that, as it is most recommended and heals the digestive tract. I would slip pro-biotics (good bacteria) into her juices, or have her take some of Dr. Christopher's Lower Bowel Formula with her drinks. What we were essentially doing, I realized later, was putting her through a fast, thorough cleanse.

At 1 p.m., Dr. David Christopher opens the phone line for an hour for questions. I called him and he said I was doing everything right and encouraged me. He explained how to do reflexology to stimulate her bowels to move. I had been pressing on the appendix area of her right foot and massaging it with lobelia tincture to stimulate the appendix to drain. When I would, she would moan because it would make her stomach hurt and cramp. Dr. Christopher suggested just doing the other to make her bowels continue to move. He also suggested starting her on crushed garlic mixed with raw honey, equal amounts and taking the heaping tsp. (or as much as she would take) every half hour. He said I seemed so on top of it that a rupture would probably not occur, but if it were to occur, the garlic would begin immediately to act as an antibiotic to kill any infection present.

My brother who is an applied kinesiologist in Colorado suggested I massage a sore spot under her left clavicle which would stimulate her lymphatic system to drain, as the appendix is part of the lymphatic system.

Throughout the day Tuesday, we continued all these treatments and her pain fluctuated between a "0.3 to 3.5". At 1 p.m. we decided to administer more catnip enema. We did two rounds and then I got engaged caring for the bare minimal needs of my other young children, intending to have done a third. She had gone to lay down again. As I took care of just the bare needs of my other kids, I couldn't get it out of my head that she needed another enema. The thought was so pressing I finally dropped everything and we did the third round.

During this time, on the floor of our bathroom, she and I had shared a very special prayer together. I prayed for many things very sacred to me, seeking promises and blessings because of faithfulness. Among them was that the gift of the Holy Ghost would be strong in all three of us-- her, me and my husband-- and that we were open to His promptings and warnings, and that He would let us know what we should do as we counseled together. The Spirit was very strong and she was feeling it too as we were both weeping openly. I acknowledeged that we knew it was an option and possibilitity that we may end up at the hospital and we knew He would warn us should we take that route before her life were in danger.

This prayer was of great comfort and opened my mind up to the fact that it isn't herbs or people who are in charge of healing, but God. Every time I have used herbs to heal I have also felt that inner guide-- they seem to go hand in hand. My senses seem peaked to know and look for things I otherwise might not think of. Thoughts and ideas come to my mind. Sometimes it was who to call, what to do, how to do it, what to read, when to do things or what was needed at the moment.

It was after this that Miriam's pain remained lower than a "2" and even as low as a "0.5" and she definitely cleaned out a lot of junk. That is only one example of such pressing thoughts that would fill my mind at times, guiding me in what needed to be done, and when.

Despite the Spirit's comfort, my mind seemed set in panic mode all day; it was difficult to concentrate on anything except my sick daughter and deep concern over her serious condition. It was a type of shock, I think. At one point I got out a ziploc bag to put some leftover fruit in it. Some time later I noticed that the fruit was still out on the counter. I looked in the fridge to find the ziploc bag filled not with the fruit, but rather with some markers! I took a deep breath and told myself I could go on. I measured my day by half-hour intervals, just trying to make it through until the next one. It helped me to set the timer for a half hour and make sure every time it went off I did two things: 1) re-set it for another half hour and 2) give Miriam liquid and do something else for her. In this way, and counseling together and re-assessing every couple of hours, we made it through the most difficult day of our lives.

We had decided that at 3 o' clock, we would re-assess again. We counseled together, including her and her judgment and decided to keep going with the herbal routine because her condition was improving and we had begun the crushed garlic which did help our courage, knowing she was recieveing the anti-biotic in case of rupture.

It was about at 4 p.m. that she wanted the Castor Oil fomentation off. We switched to just a moist heat after about an hour break and then she fell asleep in my bed. My husband and her uncle walked in together at about 5:30 p.m. as we had requested he come and help give her a priesthood blessing. They awakened her at which time they administered a blessing for the healing of the sick to her, and one of comfort and guidance to me.

That night we applied a poultice directly over the appendix of 1 Tbsp. granulated Lobelia, a handful of granulated Mullein, sprinkled with Ginger then mixed with cornmeal and steaming hot water. She fell asleep and both she and I slept the whole night.

In the morning, her pain was between zero (yay!) and "1.5". We did one more round of enemas and then her pain was gone completely. That was 10:30 a.m. on Wednesday. This was the signal that we had overcome the 'effect.' It would now be time to overcome the 'cause' of the appendicitis. When her pain had been gone for a few hours, I allowed her to drink a very liquidy fruit smoothie, and another that afternoon. By dinner time I allowed her to eat some sprouted grains. It is recommended that she stay on Dr. Christopher's mucous-free diet for some time. This will allow her bowels to heal and her whole system to heal completely from the 'cause' of what she suffered. As we slowly added vegetables and fruits and took care she chewed thoroughly, chewing her liquids and drinking her solids as it were, she remained pain-free the rest of Wednesday and until Thursday about lunchtime her tummy began to hurt (3.5) and she got a headache. After questioning her, I realized her tummy ache was up high, not the appendicitis pain.

The headache clued me in as a signal that she was cleansing. This made sense as I realized we had essentially put her through a fast, thorough cleanse the past two days. It is a signal to keep going. It doesn't feel good to cleanse, it is almost like breaking an addiction.

I got some mint and lavender essential oils and rubbed the nape of her neck. Using the reflexology, I massaged her feet again with the ointments. Her stomach ache was gone in a few minutes and never returned again. She did get "rumbly in her tumbly" at times when she would take the LB formula, which we continued to give her in increasing doses until we found the dose that will keep and train her bowels to move and heal.

She attended her Activity/Achievement day activity Wednesday evening. We took Thursday off school as well to make up all her missed work . She attended her American Girls book group that afternoon and attended school on Friday.

Looking back, I keep thinking "but that's impossible!" We got through appendicitis and no surgery! I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't witnessed it myself. I think other people will just think it must not have been appendicitis. But I know it was.

I know because the Spirit told me and her father what it was before it had even moved down and to the right. I know also because I have properly diagnosed it in 5 people now. The rebound test was positive, she couldn't even walk, she was curled up in the fetal position in excruciating pain. It is only because the Spirit let me know exactly what it was before it got to that point that I had the chance to get a head start to where, unlike others I have read about who have overcome appendicitis herbally and the appendix eventually ruptured yet with no infection or aftermath, hers never did.

What I experienced this past week was unthinkable the day before. If asked the day before if I would try to overcome appendicitis at home, I would have doubted I ever would have the courage to do it. Yet I wasn't trying to prove courage. The miracle isn't that the herbs worked. The miracle is how I felt comforted and guided every single moment by the Holy Ghost. And that God wanted me and my daughter to have the amazing experience together that we did of faith and to learn to trust Him and the good things He has provided.

Why? Perhaps someday others will need to lean on us from our experience. Perhaps we will need to lean on our own experiences. I do know our testimonies of God's power, guidance and love increased. Above all, she faced some of her insecurities and will always be stronger and wiser. She has had to make changes in diet and habits that working on together, along with fighting this illness together has blessed our relationship to one another and to God to grow in ways for which I have prayed but never could have foreseen happening in such a way.

I have exulted in the Lord's tender mercies in guiding me. Had He guided us to the hospital I would have been just as grateful for His love and guidance. But He allowed us to heal without surgery, without paying thousands of dollars. This same daughter has been looking forward to getting braces for some time now, and we wouldn't have been able to afford them had this happened. I cannot fully express my gratitude for His tender mercies, for preserving her life, for the whole experience.

2010-03-16T09:09:00.000-06:00

One of my hobbies and loves is being... and staying... organized.

Years ago, in the effort to help others to do the same, I wrote a small essay which introduces a few key principles, which, if practiced, will help anyone stay organized.

The principles are given in a parable-type format, relating the "stuff" of our lives to the flow (or stagnation) of water. Water, being a symbol of life, shows forth these principles clearly and in a way to which most can relate.

I hope you will take the time to read it and see if it helps you at all:

Organize Yourselves

A Friend For All Seasons

2010-03-16T08:52:00.000-06:00

She wants to be

Everything good

To everyone.

She is many things:

A daughter, a sister,

A friend,

A wife, a mother,

Depending on the season.

She looks for the good, the love;

Receiving and giving it in turn.

Learning from mistakes,

Growing.

Of all the love she feels,

She wants to feel God's love for her

In every season.

Two friends—sisters

They call, visit, chat, teach.

Aware of changes, trials, sickness,

Achievements, successes.

They care through every season.

She kneels and asks.

She stays and feels

Then acts on those feelings.

They’ve gotten her this far.

They’ll bless her in every season.

To be a friend for all seasons.

Top 10 things I love about Jess, just because.

2010-03-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

1) Patient. I never see it coming. Not the Christmas gifts, not the birthday either. Not even the engagement ring. He just watches me squirm... and loves it.
2) Big clean hands, soft feet. His feet are like baby's feet. No dry skin, no sweat, no stink. How does he do it?
3) Here's how: he always wears socks and shoes, or at least Chacos. Never seen him walk around, not even in the house, barefoot. And he would spend all his extra money (if he had any i.e. no wife and kids) on shoes. Yes, shoes.
4) He gave me 5 children with the most gorgeous eyes. They are his eyes, everyone tells me. And yes, he has gorgeous eyes.
5) He has hobbies that inspire us all and get us places we might not go otherwise. Outdoors things and working with leather.
6) Laid-back. "Take it easy," he'll remind me.
7) Sense of humor. I don't think I knew what this was before I married Jess. Oh, how much I missed! And how would I ever get through parenthood without it?
8) He is true. So true, he can't even smile for a photograph because it's fake. I tease him his posterity will think he had plastic surgery in this funny attempt at a grin. Says it how it is, lives it. It is a great thing to trust your man.
9) He smells good. Period.
10) He is a survivor. He can make or fix anything, thinks outside the box, finds solutions, innovative, creative. He has survived me during 5 pregnancies in 9 years. He survived beautifully the death of his closest brother. His perspective is inspiring. It's like my dad put it to me when we were engaged "I never worry about him taking care of you." Nope. Me neither. He'll find a way.

Duty

2010-03-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

Part of life, we all know, is doing one's duty. I have lately been considering my duty as it pertains to being a good citizen. Of course, what that means in the USA might be different than what that means elsewhere, but I am only referring to my duty, as an American citizen.

In a Republic, as set forth in the Constitution, each citizen has a voice, represented by a vote by himself or by a representative. In my opinion, the great Republic was inspired and created as a means to an end; to fulfill part of God's great plan. That purpose is to have brought forth the restoration of truth to the world and to promulgate it throughout every nation, kindred, tongue and people. This work has gone forth boldly, nobly and independent of every economic or political upheaval whether of the world or of this nation. And we are told by prophets that it will continue to do so.

What most American citizens don't see is that the Republic has been in grave danger for more than a century and also, as has been prophesied, the very law by which it was formed has hung as it were by a thread. The system is corrupt from its original intent and this fact is not arguable whether one agrees with the changes or not.

What a blessing it has been to live in a Republic. Even with the corruption and attempts, whether successful or not, at twisting and changing the Constitution, America has been for the better part of two centuries, the catalyst for modern prosperity and unprecedented opportunity. Protecting this liberty in America is of utmost importance. God gave me only so much time and so much energy. How is it that I should expend these sacred gifts; how is it that I should do my part?

Some brave the special training of the armed forces, sacrificing time with their families, travel to far away places in the name of preserving and defending this liberty. Some take up special interests locally or branch out even further. Some choose to do their part at their childrens' school. Some turn out to vote. Still others turn out to vote educated on issues. I honor each example for their motivation and love of country.

My first duty is to educate myself, for no one can or should do that for me. It is the first principle of independence, of self-reliance.

My next duty is to my children, for as a mother, there is no greater. After I have educated myself, or even as I am doing so, it is my duty, even my civic duty, to educate my children. History and law are of utmost importance, for history always repeats itself if it is not learned from, and law, whether just or unjust is that which either provides or squashes liberty and preserves and protects or fails society. Scripture is the greatest history and law with which to begin, but it cannot end there. The world is rich with history and experience with law, even that of the short 200+ years of our own nation.

Next it is my duty to inspire those within my circle of influence, however big or small that may be, to do the same.

And lastly, it is my duty to uphold and surround myself by others who do all of the above. Show me your friends and I will show you your future. I honor my country by honoring my friends today. Who are my friends? My mind sometimes repeats things I have done, like a broken record, wondering if I offended someone, wondering how I could have done it differently. My friends are those who have heard what I meant rather than what I said, who have given me the benefit of the doubt. My friends are those who have shared their knowledge and wisdom, who have inspired me to think, to act and to be my very best.

I look forward to hearing from my friends.

Rollercoaster: Kids allowed

2010-03-10T13:45:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I was so afraid of roller coasters. When I finally rode them to impress some boys, I was a teenager and I wondered why I had missed out on all the fun all those other times.

We realized that our house was still listed on the MLS since we had paid for a year, and as soon as the sign came down, we started getting all these calls on it. So we decided to keep the sign up until the MLS listing expires. Meanwhile, the thing that most discouraged us is looking up: there is a lot more available of what we are looking for now. And our main motivators have continued to change.

In short, it has been a rollercoaster. I feel badly having had to take my kids along on the ride, but I hope that they will realize that it is all part of real life: decisions aren't always cut and dry, situations change and outside influences fluctuate, and most of all that, in the end, it is always worth it.

I wish I had taken pictures yesterday. It was the day of messes. Rice all over the garage, peppercorns all over the kitchen, honey-glazed water all over the kitchen counter. But we cleaned them all up and for some reason it sure feels good to accomplish just one thing each day. Yesterday it was making bread. I'm making more today because I finally made good bread and it's almost gone.

Today, I went grocery shopping and also made granola. Now we are going to sew... Creed's scout uniform and sweatshirt, Danna's shirt, and Jess' pants.

Snow Forts and Big Decisions

2010-02-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

The plan: get really aggressive, hire a realtor and sell the house!

What happened: we looked at homes very seriously near Jess' work. What we found was discouraging; not much. Lots of short sales, nothing with the land and space we want or need, nothing in our price range. Jess considered his work situation. We decided all around, we should not move right now.

When Miriam got home from school that day, I grabbed the camera and told her the news:

So that's that!

Last Saturday, we intended to hike the kids with sleds to help up to the hot pots up Diamond Fork. Not only did the rest of the world have the same idea, but we drove up the road only to find it gated a full 3 1/2 miles before the trailhead. It was closed for years, but in our early marriage, we used to drive right up to the trailhead for a nice 2 mile hike.

Finding that a 4 mile round-trip would now be an 11 mile round-trip, doing the simple math, we knew we couldn't drag the kids that far. So we drove into a local campground and found a snow fort! That was the highlight of the day, along with picnicking atop the Suburban.

This past week, it was perfect timing for my friend (Jennifer) to post on FB about her brother-in-law who is a local 'farmer' and has the coolest thing going! I checked it out and joined this 'Community Farm.' Although we don't have to work on it, we can, and I am excited to go help and observe and learn and reap the fruits of participation.

We are also attending a Gordon Well's (free) gardening course and getting really excited to get our own garden going and practice the amazing principles about which we are learning.

Daily Tucking Required

2010-02-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

This title is one I used while giving feedback on a purchased product. When I went to make a new post, this automatically came up in the title. And I thought: how interesting!

Isn't it true? Shouldn't this label come on each of our children? Shouldn't it come with our beds? Perhaps our clothing?

I heard a wonderful analogy yesterday. Two young fish were swimming through the ocean. An wise old fish passed them going the other directions and asked, "Hello young lads, how's the water?" Several moments later, one young fish turned to the other and asked, "What in the heck is water?"

Don't we often go into the "stuff" of life thinking "Swimming sounds great!" i.e. marriage sounds great; having kids sounds great; being part of this organization sounds great; etc.

And sometimes it's more like "We are here to swim. That is why we are here. It's the right thing to do." i.e. we should go to church; we should be nice; we should eat more healthy; we should read and study a lot; etc.

But we fail to realize that we can't swim without the water. So... "what in the heck is water?"

Water is the purpose, not swimming. Swimming is what we have to do to get through the water, to be in the water. But water is the purpose. This is the Living Water. This is the Pure Water.

It is the water that was great. It is the water that is right. Just because with that water comes the message "Daily Swimming Required," let's not forget that the focus is the water, not the swimming.

Kids Projects

2010-02-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

I decided to create a post all about the kids and the projects they do. Mostly it is pictures, and I will just continue to edit it and update it as they do stuff.

In the Fall, Miriam's grade was studying medieval times and they each had to build a castle to certain dimensions and specifications. Miriam truly built this all by herself, moat water and all included. She called it the "castle of garbage."

In January, she made a Zen Garden in art class for school.

In late January Creed, Tate and Danna made "circle art."

Another of Miriam's school projects: the Desert Diorama...

Creed has been into Star Wars and has enjoyed drawing images from Star Wars. We also found some fun coloring pages I will post the pictures he is most pleased with.

The kids recently got out the construction paper and made fish. Here is Creed's:

2010

2010-01-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

January will be over tomorrow... what a ride!

The week after Christmas, we did a family *staycation* Here are some photos of our adventures:

One thing we did was go up to local South Fork and pull the sleds up the trail to the beaver dam. The first day, we had trouble with the kids' gloves falling off, so the second day, Jess decided to use duct tape! You can see Elsie's gloves all taped up in red duct tape, and Tate getting the job done to him.

Once up the trail a ways, Jess spotted

a vole just making its way down the trail:

After holding it and letting it go again,

the kids lounged,

and lounged,

and found a sledding hill,

With those gloves taped on, they were warm and happy....

Another activity was to visit Temple Square...

...including the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

and the Church History museum.

We stayed long enough just to see the lights turn on

then got out of that frigid cold!

We also went out to eat more often, watched some movies,

played games together. It was a fun, fun week!

If you want to hear about what I did the rest of the month, read on...

I did delve into the Harvard Classics again, well, maybe "delve" isn't the right word. I did begin reading "The Origin of Species," by Darwin, but a few days later I had the funniest inkling to read Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged."

It has been sitting on our book shelf for a number of years, along with its counterpart, "The Fountainhead." A while back, Jess actually read "The Fountainhead." I was amazed, as he rarely has time to pick up a book, and promptly falls asleep when he does. However, he manages to listen to many a book on CD/MP3 while driving to and from work. I also picked up "The Fountainhead," but after making it only about 1/4 of the way through, I begged Jess to just tell me.

So there had sat "Atlas Shrugged" on our shelf. I see it often, but had rarely, if ever thought of actually reading it. I mean, it seemed very unrealistic, to read a 1000+ page book when I've got 5 little ones to care for, among other things.

But as I said, the idea came to me as an inspiration. And then, the next day, I saw an ad for a John Stossel show about the book. I just knew I needed to read it! And so down off the shelf it came, and I spent the first part of January reading it, the better part of it still thinking about it and it's many lessons. It only took me less than 2 weeks to read it. After spending about 4+ hours a day reading, I realized I could use that same time more wisely once I was done.

How did I like it? It was such an uplifting, exhilarating read! It made me question, and think, and think some more. Mostly, I just think everyone in America needs to read it. And soon, too. I wish I could, however, lend them each my copy. Why? Because there were about 4 times when I felt the need to skip over some parts by reading the first few words of each paragraph to know when that part was over. I clearly marked them in my book so that when I read it next time (oh, yes, I WILL read it again, it is a classic!) I won't have to waste the skipping time. Barring my opinion of those small parts, I judge it one of the most influential and life-changing reads for me personally.

Incidentally, I did already lend it to one friend, and I am currently enjoying her email discussions with me about it. Jess is also slowly making his way through it during his commute. We are also enjoying discussing it with one another.

After finishing that read, I spent the next week and 1/2 on new.familysearch.org researching Jess' grandma's family line for those 4 hours. I found an amazing genealogy for her (his grandma's) great-uncle's wife's family dating back to Spain in the 1700's. I also found that she (again, his grandma) had an uncle she never knew, and cousins to boot! Incidentally, she had quite the dysfunctional childhood and was legally adopted by her 1/2-brother, so never knew of her father's siblings. This was so fun to do, and to tell her of my findings.

After entering in all the new information, and exchanging information I had with the genealogist who had put together the other record that helped me fill in some gaps, I was able to rest for a while.

Good thing, because the past week, I've been spending those 4 hours just trying to take good care of sick kids. They got a cough, then it went straight to sinuses and ears. No fevers, just a virus that sure likes to take it's time!!! We have been trying to make them rest and stay on a health-supporting diet (not easy with youngens).

I hope spring comes early this year. I so wanted to wake up today and be somewhere sunny and warm. But alas, the foot of snow outside shouts reality and I have spent the day largely inside, as I do most winters, hibernating as so many bears. Hibernating, but accomplishing much nonetheless. I am grateful for the high I get just from a sparkling-clean countertop, a folded load of laundry, the silence and tentativeness of my children upon my closing a good book upon a few more chapters, and children sleeping peacefully at the end of a chaotic day.

My reply on another blog: The question-- how do you manage your time?

2009-12-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

Inspire, not require. What a wonderful phrase. As I have pondered this over the years, my perspective and interpretation has changed and evolved. It has been interesting to me to note that between God and us, His children, there are some things to which we are inspired by Him, and there are other things He does truly require.

When I first got turned-on to A Thomas Jefferson Education, I, too began to see the true art and talent and patience it takes to inspire our children to learning. It took some time and experience to realize that there are also times and reasons that, like God, we ought to require some things as well.

For instance, God does not require us to spend our time in any particular way. He inspires us on ways with which to spend our time. He realizes there are many "musts" that just take it up. And He knows our priorities when we make time for the things that are important to Him. There are, however, other things on which He requires us to spend our time.

Following suit, one thing that has contributed to well-budgeted time for me is requiring of my children a daily and consistent quiet time. They fight it for the first while but then they learn to enjoy it as I do. It is my time to study, receive, learn and feel.

I also require certain chores or duties of my children, just as God requires me to keep certain commandments to gain certain results. This allows us to do our chores at the same time and accomplish them about the same time each morning so we can have devotional together, eat together and have our school-time.

My older children, for the first time this year, have certain "assignments" required of them per week, but they can choose how and when they do these assignments. This allows them a little guidance and to work much on their own, also allowing me to accomplish other chores or necessities with the younger children.

Other years I have endeavored to be more inspiring, but for now they see me writing in my journal, studying scriptures and other literature, and speaking with friends and family about current issues, events, health and other subjects of importance. They see me practice the piano to accompany my daughter's choir. They see their dad and I practice to sing a song in church. They watch us serve others. They watch how I cook, eat, and how I spend my time.

My hope is that the culmination of these inspirations are my inspire part of their lives, while the "require" part, which does exist for us, is what truly helps us budget our time, remain flexible and keep organized.

Ode to 2009

2009-12-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Next year shine,
Drew the line,
Gained some spine,
From the True Vine,
Saw the sign,
Did just fine,
Smelled some pine,
Drank no wine,
Forever mine,
2009

The best of 2009

2009-12-23T16:16:00.001-07:00

The best things I learned this year:

1) about "sprouting" grains. That it doesn't mean waiting for wheat or oat groats to start growing a stem and leaves, it just means soaking them overnight in hot water so they soften and split open. They never boil so they are still raw. Eating sprouted grains turns them into a raw food and opens the kernel into the most perfectly nutritious food. It has vitamins, proteins, enzymes and is living. And very, very tasty with a little raw agave and sea salt.

2) about raw apple cider vinegar (Braggs brand), also raw, it is loaded with enzymes and is extremely energy-boosting, yummy and aids in healthy weight-loss. Mix a teaspoon or two and a tablespoon of raw honey in some water and drink 3 times per day. Makes a great salad dressing. Olive oil, Raw AC Vinegar, and Raw agave mixed together, with a little pepper/salt.

3) about essential oils, especially Ravensara, Lavendar and Lemon. Ravensara, like most essential oils, is anti-pathogen and so creates an environment where bacteria, viruses and other micro-organisms can't take over. But more importantly, Ravensara is especially acute to the respiratory functioning. It helps with breathing and lungs, so is excellent in preventing a flu virus from turning into pneumonia. Dosage is: 1 year olds, one drop, 2 year olds, 2 drops and 3 and older, 3 drops per foot. Apply to bottoms of feet 3-4 times per day, wear socks and it does its job. Lavender is the skin-healer and soother. Remember last winter, my little Elsie had this "diaper rash" that wouldn't go? It was eczema... and this year, it re-appears with the cold weather, but what takes it away immediately? Shea Butter with a drop of Lavender. This is also soothing and helps with burns and other skin-healing. Soothing for skin, but also to the nerves, it helps a sick or uncomfortable child get some rest- applied to feet bottoms on a drop on their chest with some olive oil. Lemon essential oil is the best for killing airborne pathogens. Diffuse it, or put a couple of drops in a bowl of hottest sink water and place on a high shelf. Do this for about 15 minutes 3 times a day when illness is in your home to prevent it spreading through the air. Do not do this if you have a cat-- it can kill them (My argument: cats must be pathogens).

4) about the U.S. Constitution. The kids and I have studied the constitution of the United States of America. We have also studied the principles that the founding fathers embraced which helped them formulate such an amazing document, which has secured freedom, liberty and the common welfare for over 200 years, despite much opposition and corruption.

5) How it all fits together. Learning about the Constitution, keeping current of current affairs in the world and our country, and seeing the developments and progress of the gospel, studying the revelations and scriptures has offered an amazing perspective that has brought me full-circle back to what I already knew... that truly, God is over all and He is aware of our struggles and needs and that we are truly blessed when we remain close to Him, follow Him and keep His commandments. It has been wonderful to see community, friends and family draw close in support of one another during difficult times.

6) About herbs, especially garlic, cayenne, lobelia, red raspberry leaf, and yarrow. Garlic is chemically loaded with anti-bacterial, anti-viral molecular structures which constantly mutate and change and so can never become resistant to ever-changing and mutating viruses and bacteria. Four cloves are equivalent to an adult dose of penicillin and for extreme illness, up to 16 cloves a day should be digested. Four cloves crushed/grated mixed with a tablespoon of raw honey and 1/8-1/4 tsp. of cayenne, then taken by mouth by the 1/2 tsp.-full every half-hour until it is gone (6-7 doses) will cure strep throat (don't eat or drink in between, especially strep-carrying milk). It is a pleasant and spicy mixture I have taken for any sore throat or sickness- really nips it in the bud. Cayenne helps with the sinuses and is great to add to ginger tea to nip a virus/cold in the bud as well. Lobelia is an anti-spasmodic and stops asthma attacks, reactive airway disease, and the croup. A few drops of Lobelia extract in some water or tea will stop the difficulty in breathing. It has many other uses, but as a mother of young children, this use has been the most helpful. Red raspberry leaf is an astringent and cleanses the body. It also tones female organs and is great during pregnancy. Its tea should be taken each hour during any illness to help the body clean out the toxins. It is tasty and most kids enjoy it. Yarrow is the tea for fevers. It helps the body to fever and can be added to the bath as well as drinking it. The fever will run its course more quickly and cause sweat (break the fever) and kill the virus as it is meant to do. It is also a mild pain-reducer.

Phew!

So much for the Harvard Classics, which it was my full intention to delve into in 2009 and get a good 1/3- 1/5 of the way through them. I read the first 6-7 volumes and then picked up on this other stuff instead. Just yesterday I felt like picking up the Harvard Classics again and shall soon see for myself exactly what it was Charles Darwin put his thumb on aboard the Beagle in his "Origin of Species." I have known its reference for most of my life, but I have been told that reading the original is a very different story altogether than going off of what others gained from it and then have used it to teach. It should be interesting.

Next year shine,
Drew the line,
Gained some spine,
From the True Vine,
Saw the sign,
Did just fine,
Smelled some pine,
Drank no wine,
Forever mine,
2009

It's Christmas Time

2009-12-17T16:35:00.001-07:00

This is the first year, in about 12 years, that I have appreciated Christmas. Let me explain...

Jess and I got married on December 20, 1997. Our marriage was of course the crowning event that year (not to mention of my entire life) and Christmas dulled in comparison. We decided to return home early from our honeymoon to be with family, after all, what is Christmas without them?

The next couple of years, we didn't have children yet, and we also had no money, so we just mooched off our parents, had dinner with them and struggled to know what we could get for people that seemed to already have everything.

As children entered our lives, we had added purpose, or stress, at Christmas time, playing a "role" we knew was ours, but was still new to us. Although the following was part of my life growing up, it only bothered me once I had children of my own: the fact that we always seem to need to discuss the "true" meaning of Christmas... as if there is an "untrue" meaning somewhere?

Commercialism clutches its grip tighter every coming year, it is true. However, do we live our lives in such a way that Christmas time is the only time to think of Jesus Christ?

As extended family gatherings became more hectic with lots of little cousins running around and many schedules to work around, I began longing to create family traditions of our own, ones that would bring out the best in my kids-- qualities of gratitude, charity, respect, humility... attributes that living in one's life alone would be the greatest gift we could give to our Savior in return for His greatest gift to us.

Looking back, I think I have failed miserably to do this. Each year, we struggle to make ends meet in our budget, trying to figure out how to also cover the cost for extra parties and our anniversary and Hunter's birthday (he was born on the 21st, one day after our 4th anniversary), and the list grows and grows.

This year, our budget was simple, and yet, under our tree are many a wrapped gifts. I have many friends who cannot do this for their children this year because hard times have hit them. We have shared quiet and grateful conversation about sacrifice and love despite difficult circumstances, and this has brought such a beautiful Spirit into my heart this Christmas.

I told the kids it wouldn't be a big Christmas this year, but they have expressed they seem to have more presents this year than ever before. The excitement in their faces is fun to behold as they anticipate unwrapping imagined treasures, still, we had yet, until a couple weeks ago, to figure out a way to involve them in giving, rather than just being on the receiving end.

My good friend Amy shared what they do each Christmas, and we plan to implement something similar from now on. Just thinking of it gets me excited, and has helped me enjoy my chance to be on the giving side, since most of my life I was on the receiving end.

We draw names and each give a gift to one person in our family. We draw names twice more to find for whom we will either make a gift or do a service. The budget is on a per-person basis and it keeps it simple and involves everyone in the GIVING process.

Amidst all the gifts I wrapped this year sit two special gifts. One is a white paper home-made box tied up with ribbon. Elise made the box and on it is written "To: Jesus." A green star hangs from our tree, Merrill's gift to our Savior. He keeps asking how Jesus will get the gift.... will he come down and take it on Christmas?

Despite my failed efforts, my desires and teachings seem to have taken some effect, and it makes me so happy to know that Jesus has been remembered this Christmas. And even though we remember him always, and try to direct our lives after Him each day, I am finally grateful for a time to pause and, with my country, my church, my neighbors and friends, have a great excuse to further honor Him, consider his humble birth, and sing and play music about Him while sitting mesmerized by beautiful lights on the tree, or a dancing fire in the stove.

I hope you can catch this Spirit as well, and truly feel His love for you and your family.

Merry Christmas!

Emeritus Love of Learning?

2009-12-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

What has happened to me? For nearly FOUR straight years, I have been reading and studying. I have learned and learned, more than I could have possibly ever imagined I ever would. Last New Year (2009), my goal was to get at least 1/5 of the way through the Harvard Classics. After becoming overwhelmed with that, I decided to keep following with learning what I was interested in. I read and read. I studied and grew.

A couple months ago, that all changed. I read the book "Common Sense" by Glenn Beck, followed by The 5000 Year Leap by Cleon Skousen. And I haven't picked up a book-- any book-- since! I have been reading and studying still, some. I have been reading the scriptures, pouring over them. I have been reading them in Spanish, determined still to eventually, Nat Bowditch style, learn another language. I have read the Ensign articles in my church publication. I have written in my journal. But I find I am not devouring things as I was for 4 years.

Why not?

I feel like I am just trying to process it all. It has all come together to teach me something that is so monumental, so huge, so unexpected. And yet, what is has taught me is that all that is important, I already knew before this small journey began.

Perhaps it is because of our times, because of my present. I feel like pulling in-- inward, in to my home, my children, family, my close friends-- in to appreciating the life of liberty and love and prosperity I have enjoyed. Pulling in to my spirit and coming as close as I can to my God who created me. Pulling in to tap the creativity inside me; creating rather than drawing on others' creations and works.

Perhaps that is why I published my poetry on a blog. The time I used to do that would have before gone to reading and studying.

To say the least, I have been humbled to the point that I feel I know nothing, but enough to serve Him and do what He needs me to do. Perhaps it is because my baby is 1 and 1/2 now and I know this time will pass and my children will grow and be gone and leave me alone with my books again. I just want to be here with them and so much of my energy goes to just caring for them physically and spiritually.

This is a time I will always remember and cherish.

Journaling

2009-11-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Do you keep a journal? I have been lately thinking about how important it may be to keep one
right now... one that tells how you see what's going on in the world
around you, politically, economically, socially; all the things that are happening, indeed, how those in our country's most powerful positions are
using their power, etc.

As I read the words of Nephi III and Mormon (In The Book of Mormon, my personal canon),
it makes me think we really need to keep our own record of the amazing
things we are witnessing, just as they did. I especially can relate to
Nephi III and his lament on his backyard tower.

It may be more
important to keep this record than to write letters to our
representatives who do not listen. It may be the most important thing
we can do to, one day, hold them accountable; to write our testimony
and feelings related to all we see happening around us as well as the things we
are doing to be strong, virtuous and prepared, for I believe history is in the
making.

I usually like to write about my personal feelings, my family,
etc... but lately I feel it is so important to write about it all, so
there will be witness to what is going on. What do you think?

Following is an excerpt from words of Wilford Woodruff, 4th prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints .

"We should make a record of events as they transpire.

… Instead of neglecting this branch of our work let every man who can, keep a journal and record events as they pass before our eyes day by day. This will make a valuable legacy to our children and a great benefit to future generations by giving them a true history . . .instead of leaving it to our enemies to write a false history . . .We are not apt to think of the importance of events as they transpire with us, but we feel the importance of them afterwards. We are living in one of the most important generations that man ever lived on earth, and we should write an account of those important transactions which are taking place before our eyes in fulfillment of the prophecies and the revelations of God. There is a great flood of revelations fulfilling in our day, and as they are transpiring before our eyes we want a record made of them."

Strep Throat

2009-11-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

Strep Throat is one of the easiest sicknesses to heal. Any time we have sore throats and I even suspect it, we do this simple regimen. The following are needed:

Ground Cayenne Pepper
Fresh Garlic
Raw Honey

Eliminate milk and milk products from diet. Cow's milk is the greatest cause of Strep Throat. Mix 4 crushed cloves of garlic, 1 Tbsp. Honey and 1/8-1/4 tsp. ground Cayenne. Take by 1/2 tsp. fulls per half hour. Do not eat or drink until right before the next dose, as the Honey coats the throat and keeps the garlic where it needs to be.

Garlic can cause the stomach to hurt sometimes. This feeling can come on suddenly but will pass usually within a minute. This routine can be repeated over a period of a few days, but in my experience it was only necessary once.

We have healed Strep Throat twice. Once it was me, once my daughter. We don't drink milk. Both times we got it, we had each "cheated" and had either ice cream or chocolate milk-- once.

Loving Me

2009-11-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

(about 1997)

Remember
It was hard to love me in high school
I had so many quirks
so many pretensions
questions

The pieces of my puzzle
only began to drop
so I could place them
and I cried
like the baby
I was.
I was . . . hard to love
in high school.

Realize
It is hard to love me now
I still have quirks
and less pretensions
more questions

More pieces of my puzzle
are dropped
and daily I place them.
The Lord
hears how
it is.
It is . . . hard to love me
now.

Believe
You can always love me,
see through my quirks,
melt my pretensions,
answer my questions;

Help me place
the dropped pieces
of my puzzle.
And let me cry
on your shoulder,
and look up to wipe
your tears.
The Lord
will show us
you can.
I can . . . always love you
too.

Recollection

2009-11-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

( about 1990)

How can one come to
even explain,
for words are not anywhere
to describe such things . . .
But, you may recall
a starry sky
Christmas time
ocean waves
thunder storms
music
understanding

But not recall the stars
only the endlessness and the questions.

Not the time of the Holidays
only the things soaking into your soul,
the sounds, tastes, smells.

Not the recurring pattern
of waves
only the sound, and beauty
and wonders of the waters.

Not the rain
only the light, flashing
the brightest and quickest
then the sensation
when thunder roars.

Not the tune
only the prayer of each individual note.

And

Not really understanding
only trying to understand.

Home

2009-11-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

(about 2000)

Spirit:
I'll never forget the day I left
I can't share details;
what did details
ever have to do with memories?
Feelings mostly, just a promise really.
But I know I'm not home here.

Heart:
I know home.
I've felt it's comfort
with friends
and in the sunshine
under rainfall
in the wind
with my love
and in my family
in the children I know
and the child I was.

Mind:
I try to understand
The heart assures
over and over
about home
but the word "home"
is like relief
after all the computing
and figuring
and complexing
Home is understandable
it is the closest thing
to peace.

Body:
I am home to a spirit.
The choices it makes
determine my home someday.
I've never been home.
I have no guarantees--
I can hurt, and get old
I can have illness
I can break and grow
and be healed
and I can die.
I am only temporoary!
But if the spirit
is called charity,
hope, and faith . . .
I will discover home, too.

Let Me

2009-11-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

(about 1998)

With every word let me praise
With every fall let me raise
With every sorrow let me learn
With every fire let me burn
With every rainbow
let me thank Thee I'm still here.
With every broken bread,
let me know I cannot fear.
With every raindrop let me cry
With every can't let me try
With every goodness let me feel
With every wound let me heal
With every mountain let me climb
With every church-bell let me chime
With every reason let me rhyme
With every moment give me time
With every gift let me give
With every Spring let me live
Each word of thine let me embrace
In every person let me see Thy face
With every light let me see
With every glory let me be
With every hope let me hold
With every clay let me mold
With every rock let me stand
With every challenge let me plan
With every plant, let me grow
With every knowledge let me know
With every sky let me fly
Each noble goal let me try
With every option give me one
All but Thee let me shun
With every song let me sing
Every melody to ring
Each chance to love
let me give myself completely
With every voice
let me hear Thy Spirit sweetly
With every eye let me see Thee only
With Thee alone, let me be lonely
With every sound let me hear
With every trumpet let me appear
With every doorway let me in
With every race let me win!

Christmas Bells

2009-11-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

c
Salt Lake City, Temple Square, Christmas time

(written about 1996)

The sweetest thing about a bell
is not the size or shape it is,
not the stuff of which it's made,
and not the note it rings;

The sweetest thing I like to tell
are the thoughts and memories it brings.

Reminding me of Santa's bells
I used to "hear" on Christmas eve,
the sound that's heard in childhood ears
because a child believes.

Reminding me of a clarion call
that's sounded o'er this continent
on more than one occasions' need,
the sound of freedom's sentiment.

Reminding me of bells that ring
to mark each hour passing by,
that through life's changes, turns, and bends,
my God and Savior still stand by.

Reminding me of ringing cheer;
that angels, on that holy morn,
to shepherds spoke, glad tidings gave
that Christ, our God and King was born!

The sweetest thing about a bell,
the story that I try to tell--
is how one rang, the silence broke,
and when I listened, something spoke:
from deep inside, so this I say:
Christ was born, and He lives today!

To the Ones I Love

2009-11-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

(about 1997)

Communicating with you is as simple as a smile
When I am with you, I am provoked by my heart,
and not my thoughts.
It is more rewarding to hold my tongue, and just listen
and yet I talk and talk, longing to say something to you
of the grace and beauty you bring to my life..
and when there is silence again--
it seems I have done nothing
but to have made another mistake,
for which I beg your forgiveness.
It is because of this that I now live.
Your kindness makes it possible to lift
my head and look for a brighter day,
and to smile during a long, dark night.
It has most often been your hand
which has been lent to me when I fall,
and I must be forever imprisoned with wondering
what I can ever do to repay you.
You are my friend.

The Beginning and the End

2009-11-09T12:03:00.001-07:00

A Winter's Day by: Kori Mitchell

The beginning
probably never was . . .
more like a circle,
shaped by the Master,
crafted in His name.
But that's how I see the start--
As a circle of friends
who opened a window
when I had almost
closed a door.
I did not deserve
the gifts you poured
upon me.
But they have been
recieved
in secret thanks.
You gave me shade
under your pointed leaves
smelling of the mountians
at Heaven's feet.
I am only a pine cone
and I see your branches
touching the sun.
That's where I came from,
and that's where I want to be.
but I must grow there . . .
and you must stay standing tall
so when the storms come,
I will not be washed away
except to meet your tender roots.
And I'll feel my own soul
begin to hold and grasp
the Master of
The Beginning and the End.

Evidence

2009-11-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Reflection

(written about 2005)

The sun shines
The clouds form
The mountains rise
The tress live,grow
The leaves change

The earth breathes
and turns

The sky moves
it has shapes
it is alive

Rocks stand
and ocean waves
crash on sand
rhythm is in them

You live

Oh, the world!
It is out there
to enjoy and discover.

A Year of Grief

2009-11-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

(about 2004-- written about a year after the death of my brother-in-law, Kip. In his memory...)

Shocked
Something's wrong
I ask what? Why?
The answer quick
and soft.
A trial of faith
Many lessons to learn
Blessings to come
In answer to prayers
"Everything will be okay,"
the Comforter comes.

Helpless
Brothers in tears
No heartbeat,
no breath.
I lied to his mother
unknowingly.

Gratitude
If it comes to death
They were prepared.
His family will be fine.
A miracle and
a blessing.

Denial
It won't come to death
a quiet car ride
The helicopter took him.
Remember
The Spirit said
everything will be okay?

Numb
a lifeless body
on a table
Looking like him
But he is not there
Everyone is crying
I can't cry
Just keep me busy.

Angry
I feel nothing
He can't be gone.
What about her
and their children?

Sorrow;
things I would have said
things I never said
a relationship
I cared about,
was working on.

Faith
Alone in my room
I finally tell him
and God
my regrets, feelings.
I ask why?
I feel a part
of his heart,
his love
rest upon me.
There is work to do.
Somehow I understand.

Empathy
I take that part
of his heart
I try to be there,
listen, understand.
Pray to know
how to help,
when to be there.

Blessed
I worry about giving birth.
I hear his voice
in my mind. Srtange;
telling me
it will go well.
This spirit will come,
not to worry.

Inadequate
She is lonely
I cannot replace him
I cannot take the pain
I don't want to hurt,
don't know what
to do or say.

Hope
I can listen
Be there
She is strong
and has the Lord.
I cannot,
but He can
because He loves us
He suffered,
descended below.
He lives.
The promises are sure.

Reconciled
I miss him.
I will always
feel the ache
in this life.
I will cry silently
in my sleep sometimes
or sob uncontrollably
in public.
The way I see things
will never be the same.
I will not turn away
from pictures, memories,
situations
that will make
all these emotions
come flooding back.
This is pain
and part of life.
And it is mine.

Now
I lift my prayers
to heaven
to know of Christ
and His gospel,
the love unbelievable
and real.

Peace.

To Be One

2009-11-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

(about 1998-- these are actually song lyrics written when Kori and her mom enlisted me to write a song for a Relief Society meeting)

There is a time,
and that time can be now
to be one,
His love has shown us how.
We've all tasted
the sweetness of His healing
and now
let us act upon this feeling.

There is a way,
and that way we understand now,
to be one,
we must get past all our doubts now.
We all know, we can't deny--
the Spirit here has taught us
and now we need to try.

Just imagine
your burdens so much lighter,
the circle of our friendhsip
growing ever tighter.
Just believe,
forgive and serve each other.
Follow Jesus Christ our Lord,
our Savior and our Brother.

One heart, one way,
we have one chance
on this day.
One heart,
one chance,
one day.

Make it today!

My Sacred Grove

2009-11-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

(2009)

I do not have a sacred grove,
there's children all around,
so when I kneel they pull my shirt
to get me to look down.

So young they do not understand
my heart has many needs;
to know just how to care for them,
these tiny little seeds.

To face my trials, real and rough,
to feel my Savior's love,
so I will know we'll be alright,
that there is help above.

We all go 'round here barefoot,
the chaos seems to reign
as tiny mouths just must be fed
and problems solved 'til I am drained.

To Moses said the Lord: "remove your shoes...
you stand on sacred ground."
That's why I go 'round barefoot--
there's children all around.

My home's my only sacred grove
for I cannot retreat
and leave these small ones to themselves,
their curiosity and bare feet.

So from my heart I pray, I cry
will God please understand?
I need him more now than ever--
will He please take my hand?

And sanctify this time to me;
this season I must give
to little ones and little else,
these days are mine to live.

This is my work, my one great work,
this family I love,
so for now this home, this time
becomes my sacred grove.

This home is not a quiet place
except at quiet hour,
and that's if things work out just right,
if attitudes aren't sour.

No sweet birds sing, or if they do,
they're difficult to hear
for arguments and whining tones
are ringing in my ear,

and if I try to be alone,
even on the pot,
the doorknob turns, and little eyes
tell me that I'm not!

Just let me know, my loving Lord,
my efforts are enough.
For what I actually accomplish
feels like little stuff.

I'm never all I'd like to be,
I barely can survive.
And most days I'd be glad
to get off work at five.

So let me know that if by chance
I ever get to be
alone with Thee on bended knee
you'll still be near to me.

Though I have failed in every way
to show to Thee my love,
because of what I do each day,
I've found this sacred grove.

I need a sacred grove.
Make my life . . .
a sacred grove.

Sisterhood

2009-11-05T16:07:00.001-07:00

(about 1995)

Become a part of sisterhood
look to heav'n above.
Sing sweet praises to the Lord,
never give up on His love.

He is like a shining star
in a world of night.
Just open wide your heav'nly eyes
and follow His perfect light.

The world around us falls apart,
a friend seems hard to find.
Each of you His gift to me,
angels he sent in disguise.

Like a sister I will be,
we will never part.
I'll always say a prayer for you
deep down inside of my heart.

Together we must work and strive,
this life is not in vain.
For though we know not where nor how,
We know He'll come again.

Rocks and Frames

2009-11-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

(about 2002)

I have pictures
hanging on my walls-
framed and matted;
prim, proper-- straight.
Not like Thy walls
so long ago.
Mother earth reflects
the reality
on the endless boundary,
rough and rocky;
crates, crevices-- stones,
that tell me why,
perhaps more easily,
people saw God
everywhere.
I mustn't forget
amid my straight walls,
square, angular;
God is here.
Outside my window
is a leaf.
God shaped it
with His gentle hands.
Inside my heart
is a dream.
God shaped it
with His gentle hands.
God's path is straight
like my pictures
and their frames,
but His answers
are unique, different,
even like stones;
no two are the same,
just like people.

Precious Mother, Blessed Name

2009-11-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

(about 2004)

When upon returning home
I open the door; a presence felt
perhaps the smells of home it is
telling someone waits inside
welcoming a weary heart
bruised and torn by outside world.

I dare not imagine returning home
and opening door to empty rooms,
to faceless walls, a musty smell;
knowing I am all alone,
the wound torn deeper, worse because
here no refuge from cruel world.

If mother with her job to work,
planes to catch, degrees to earn,
left our home to find herself
to stop from being home all day
feeling useless; did she know
her sacrifice made house a home?

Quiet moments, calm repose,
maid-like duties, household chores.
Dinner's on, babe's asleep
a haven for the souls she keeps.
Arriving home, her family feels
a sense of comfort, stability.

A part of mothers own domain:
home can be a comforting word.
She lost herself; a gift to give,
belonging, to her family.
It's her presence awaits us there,
precious mother, blessed name.

Grace

2009-11-05T15:42:00.000-07:00

( about 2002)

I still don't understand
what happened
my heart broke
I lost all control
I gave myself over
to the nothingness
that lay ahead
I couldn't even
pick up the pieces
the last thing I did
was take the first step
as your voice
told me to do
and I lost
everything
dreams
tears
myself

I wake up every day
to a beautiful place
you built
I'm held in the arms
of love
you provided
on the way here
I experienced
each moment
as you built
a new me
I have
everything
my dreams
more tears
myself
I still don't understand
what happened.

Speaking of good weather!

2009-11-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

Today I want to shout hooray: Hooray for great weather! Somewhere in the world, people are cuddled up, freezing, perhaps wanting for shelter. Others, like my friends' husbands serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, are sweltering in too-hot and too-humid weather, fighting for a cause still worth fighting for. Weather is a funny thing, isn't it? But today, today for us has been glorious! We have spent the better part of the afternoon on a walk around our small cul-de-sac, but that vitamin D is so needed, and the warmth of the sunshine, the fresh open air... Mmmm.

What a glorious year this has been for us in Utah as far as weather is concerned. We had enough precipitation, a pretty mild summer, now a mild autumn. It has been so giving that I'm even will to give a little and allow for that cold winter to come back. As much as I abhor it.

I'll just hibernate again, of course.

Something fun, and addicting in a good way that I have been doing lately, for members of our church, can be found at www.new.familysearch.org . You can register and find YOUR PEOPLE... yes, the people who made... you. Check it out. Anyone still living, you have to fill in yourself. You fill in their parents, deceased, and then: buddabing buddaboom! Your line fills in as far back as any of the databases have information. If you come to a missing link, it is amazing how you can search for it, and find it. With all the microfishe/microfilm the church has been transferring to its online databases, it is amazing what you can find without ever leaving your computer! I found some of Jess' grandma's ancestors, many of whom she was unaware, and even siblings. The feeling is difficult to explain, but feeling that connection to the past is so amazing!

Roaming

2009-11-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

(about 1996)

We roam the earth- daily
going about those things
we are scheduled,
or have planned
to do.

We write down our business,
our desires,
even that which we despise,
except it's our duty.

And yet, which one
does not yearn
for even but a small moment
to be still?
And listen.,
feeling for that inner peace
which without,
we roamers become weary;
and most become blind,
so blind.

They can't see the same longing
in our eyes, my eyes;
I who ask, no, beg of you
to let me work God's work,
or let me rest!

Happy Home

2009-11-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

(about 1990)

It is but a little prayer
a spark of hope for you to share.

It is but a precious glow,
many words of long ago.

It is but a place to live,
love to share and things to give.

It is but a sacred thing,
happy smiles and joy to bring.

It is but a thing to love
so we can dwell up above.

It is but many clues
helping me my whole life through.

It is but a candle burning
awaiting my long returning.

It is but joy and strife;
nothing other than my life.

I will give it all it's worth,
the truest truth on all the earth,

a comforting to know it's right
when I pray to Heavenly Father tonight.

I will live with Him once more,
a happy home opened the door.

To the Weary

2009-11-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

(about 1996)

Whenever this
terrible lack of faith
comes upon you
please wake up.

Don't allow your senses
to turn inward.
Reach out,
sharing qualities
divinely placed within you
to be good;
full of the fruits
of the Spirit.

Don't question
if better
is found elsewhere;

is not this dream,
this hope, this faith,
enough to die,
and live for?

Whatever it takes,
if you give Him the sword,
the battle can be fought
on His grounds,
where no enemy
can prevail.

Fear no evil . . .
for no shadow
may intercept His light.
No shadow but your own
fear, and
terrible lack of faith!

The World Was Made Round

2009-11-03T15:40:00.000-07:00

(about 1992)

Why did God
make the world round?
Because
He wanted His children
to prove
that it is round.;
He wanted them
to know faith.

Why did God
make the world round?
Because He didn't want
His children hiding
in deep, dark corners;
He wanted each child's face
to feel the warmth of light.

Why did God
make the world round?
Because round things
don't have a top, or a bottom.
They don't have a head,
only a heart.
Of one heart.

Secrets

2009-11-03T14:41:00.000-07:00

(about 1990)

A wee little babe crying softly in the morn
on this day very close to the day that you were born

Your eyes filled with tears of happiness and love,
your sweet spirit barely sent from our heavens above.

Do you know? Can you feel-- you were just there?
You could tell me all about the place without a care.

You know heavens secrets, of its miracles and prayers.
You are so much like our Brother, how He loves and how He shares.

The sweetness in your eyes may grow cold a dark and dim
if you don't care to take the time to watch and follow Him.

So now you grow into a child,
your dreams so very far and wild.

I hold you in my arms again,
a song to sing I now begin:

the words so true and strong to me,
but you're still too young to really see.

Still, deep inside those baby eyes,
a sparkle's there, yet in disguise.

I think you are remembering your past;
where you used to live 'til you ended here at last.

Life's not so bad, you soon will see.
I care for you, so hold on to me.

Now you're not a child, but a growing kid.
Behind those eyes, deep inside your head, the secrets still are hid.

And because that secret is deep inside you still,
you remember a message from above: love and joy are God's will.

So a good example you'll still set
and as you grow I won't forget

the example that you gave to me
with smiles shining long and free.

I hope the secrets of heaven above will be there wherever you go,
and they will stay in that place, your heart, forever in time as you grow.

The "Unmasking" Friends

2009-11-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

(about 1994 ~ dedicated to Eliza R. Snow "a woman in time")

Truth, Light, and Love
the "unmasking" friends
I learned from woman in time
how each person, each moment,
each lie that we fear
need only to meet
with my three saving friends.

For even the demon
and monster of death,
his pains and his woes
forth to show,
hov'ring the world
each creature, each kind
his mask is of poison,
of blackness, of end.

But then face to face
with our Savior's truth
the blackness and hurt
of the mask melts away.
His light at eye-level
with once-hollow eyes
now brightens
the home-bound way.

His love, like a lantern
that's welcoming home
is clearly deep down inside
in the heart of this lie
that people called death
because they could not
see inside.

And even the day
or the hour it seems
that every clear friend
has retired,
every dear thing has been
taken from you,
nowhere to go. No love,
no company.

But again face to face
with our Savior's truth
the empty-faced,
all -alone mask
melts away.

His light at eye-level
with once-crying eyes
now beckons you
go on your way.
His love like the water
that's quenching your soul
as steadfastly
you're marching on.
The journey this moment,
though lonely, has giv'n
you're learning to look
deep inside.

For even the poor man
who begs on the streets,
his haggard and beaten-worn clothes
and wanting for money,
for shelter, for food,
his mask is of distance,
complacency, greed.

So now face to face
with our Savior's truth,
the distance you feared
in his mask melts away.
His light at eye-level
with once-hungry eyes
shines forth on mankind
equality.
His love like the shelter
that gives your soul rest
now beckons you give,
give to him.
For we are all beggars,
on mercy depend
when beyond these masks
you look
deep inside.

Steps

2009-11-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

(about 1994)

Your little child
growing up so fast
held her tiny hand one day
'round your finger
and took one step
at a time;
trying to make it--
a long distance to her
such a short distance
to you,
back to you,
her hand in yours.
Sometimes trying
to make it all
in one single bound.

The journey still goes on,
for life is much the same.
I must take it one step
at at time,
trusting that
if I keep my eye
single to You
if I should fall,
Thy loving hand
will catch and lift me.

With Thy hand to guide me,
each step I will take,
for in one single bound,
who would ever learn
to walk?

My eyes are on Thee;
I feel Thy smile
and Thy warm embrace
already.
Happy taking each step
in turn.
Learning
to walk.
Growing;
my hand in Yours.

God's Letter

2009-11-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

(about 1992)

My dear child,
please try to see it my way,
for I can see much farther
than your eyes,
much farther
than the depths of your heart
reach.
My love reaches
into the eternities.
Yes,
I know
some days are cold.
The storm, ever so dark
raging all around.
And my child,
this is why you cannot see
but fear not,
find comfort in me,
look to me,
and I promise
you will be happy.
You will find and live happiness.
You will feel joy so strong,
and love all around
forever and a day.
For I know
what your dreams are,
all I have promised you.
Tomorrow you will be troubled
no more. You will look back,
and know that the days before
this day
were there to teach you,
and you grew,
you learned.
You will have your dream,
never knowing pain again.
I promise. And
I love you.